Introduction
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| The Killer in Me | Get it Done |
“Robson!” Giles kneels beside his friend. “You, too.” Giles takes off his glasses, and hangs his head.
Robson opens his eyes, and looks up at Giles. Giles is surprised to see that he’s still alive. “Dear god, I thought you were—”
“Gather them.” whispers Robson.
“What?” asks Giles.
“It’s started.” says Robson.
“It’s all right. I understand,” says Giles. He doesn’t see the Bringer with a double headed battle axe behind him. It swings the axe at Giles’ neck. “I’ll take care—”
Giles’ hand flashes out and catches the handle of the axe. He punches the Bringer in the stomach and it falls back into a chair. Giles swings the blade at the Bringer’s neck. He takes off the Bringer’s head, and looks around for more attackers.
Sunnydale:
Giles walks through the cemetery with Buffy, Kennedy, Amanda, and a new Chinese potential Slayer. He’s telling them the story of how he survived the Bringer’s attack in London. “It was extraordinary good luck, of course, and—and training. Years of training.” He looks back at the new girl. “Chao-Ahn, keep up. You’re new here, Chao-Ahn, so take note. Remember about training.”
He goes back to his story as they walk between the headstones. “But I honestly feel the largest part of it was instinct. Instinct and reflexes. There’s a sort of wary watchfulness I’ve developed over the years. It’s like another sense.” He cries out as he gets blind sided by someone.
Kennedy and Amanda immediately have their stakes up and ready, watching the two figures rolling on the ground.
“Spike!” says Buffy.
Spike and Giles sit on the ground looking at each other.
“You’re not in pain,” says Giles. “You’re not the First,” says Spike.
Giles is confused. “What?”
“Anya said you were the First.” Spike gets to his feet. “Said you were evil. You’re supposed to be all go-through-able.”
“Well, then what the hell did you tackle me for, you burk? What’s that supposed to do?”
Spike moves over beside Buffy. “I, uh, I didn’t think of that.”
“More importantly, you just hit me,” says Giles. “Why didn’t your chip go off?”
Spike and Buffy both shuffle their feet a bit. “Yeah, well…” says Spike.
“Well, uh, when we were at the Initiative…” says Buffy.
“There was a choice,” says Spike.
“Right,” says Buffy. “To either repair the chip or to remove it.”
Giles is incredulous. “You had it rem— You removed the chip?”
“Yeah,” says Buffy. “It really is okay.”
“What’s a chip?” asks Amanda.
Kennedy is looking somewhat like Giles. “They removed the chip?”
Chao-Ahn speaks up, in Cantonese. “I don’t understand a word any of you are saying.”
Buffy sits at her dresser, getting ready to go to work. Giles appears at her bedroom door. He leans against the frame. “You know this is very dangerous.”
Buffy is putting on some hoop earrings. “Ah, you just heard the horror stories. Wear hoops, they’ll catch on something, rip your lobe off. Lobes flying everywhere.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”
Buffy glances up at him. “You mean Spike not having a chip. Free-range Spike.”
“I have to ask,” says Giles. “What— Why on earth did you make that decision?”
“I guess it was instinct,” says Buffy. “Like you were talking about.”
“Ohh! I made that up! I knew the Bringer was there because his shoes squeaked.” Giles enters her room and leans against her dresser. “Look, Buffy, it’s crucial that we keep these girls safe, and I can’t count the dangers. The First, the Bringers, random demons, and now Spike?”
“And the principal,” says Buffy.
“What?”
“Uh, oh, nothing much,” says Buffy. “He was in the school basement holding a shovel, acting kind of evasive. Plus he’s got that whole ‘too charming to be real’ thing going on. I’m looking into it.”
“Oh, that sounds very responsible of you,” says Giles sarcastically. “Balances out the vampire-on-the-loose issue.”
“Nothing’s changed, Giles. Spike had a chip before, remember?” Buffy gets up and goes over to her bed. She starts to gather up some clothes lying out on it. “When the First had him kill and sire all those people?”
“We have no idea if his chip was working then,” says Giles. “A new chip might restrain him should the First attempt to activate him again.”
“Spike has his soul now,” says Buffy. “That’s what’s gonna stop him from hurting people.”
“Buffy—”
“He can be a good man, Giles. I feel it. But he’s never gonna get there if we don’t give him the chance.” Buffy starts putting the clothes she’s gathered up away.
Giles comes over and leans against the side of the wardrobe. “Buffy, I want more for you. Your feelings for him are colouring your judgment. I can hear it in your voice. And that way lies a future filled with pain. I don’t want that for you.”
“We haven’t— Things have been different since he came back.”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re not…physical with each other anymore,” says Giles. “There’s a connection. You rely on him. He relies on you. That’s what’s affecting your judgment.”
“You think I’m losing sight of the big picture, but I’m not! When Spike had that chip, it was like having him in a muzzle. It was wrong. You can’t beat evil by doing evil. I know that.” Buffy walks out the door.
“Well, I hope you’re right,” says Giles. “You’re gambling with a lot of lives.”
Xander is watching a power saw demo at the local Home Center. He looks around and sees a pretty girl examining some nearby spools of rope. He walks away from the demo, and slips his safety goggles into his pocket. “Hi, can I help? You seem kind of confused.”
The girl looks at him. “You aren’t wearing a green apron.”
“Confused but sort of randomly observant.”
“Sorry,” says the girl. “I just mean… You don’t work here, right?”
“No. Right. I— just helpful. I’m Xander.”
The girl holds out her hand. “Lissa.” Xander shakes it. “And I guess I could use some advice. I can’t even figure out if I’ve got the right kind of rope.”
“That depends on what you need it for,” says Xander. “Something, like, functional around the house, or, you know, recreational?” Lissa lifts her eyebrows. “By which I mean, for example, boating or mountain climbing, not for tying someone up for sexy, funky fun.” He pauses, not quite believing he just said that. Lissa laughs. “In conclusion, rope can be useful in various ways.”
“I have a kayak,” says Lissa.
“Again with the random,” says Xander. “I like it.”
“Sorry. I need to store my kayak,” says Lissa. “So I was thinking maybe I could sort of suspend it from the ceiling in the garage with ropes and a pulley or a winch thing.”
“Not a bad plan,” says Xander. “You’ll need stronger rope than that. Want to have coffee with me later?”
“What?”
“Oh, you’re the only one that gets to be random?” asks Xander.
Buffy checks to make sure no one is looking before she enters Principal Wood’s empty office. She closes the door behind her and starts to look around. She leafs through some file folders on his desk. “Now, if I were a sign of being evil, where would I…” She looks around and sees a large cabinet on the wall. “…be?”
Buffy moves over to the cabinet, and reaches for its doors.
Principal Wood enters the office, and sees her. “Buffy?”
Buffy spins around. “Oh, Principal Wood. It’s you.”
“You looking for something?”
“File folders. And mechanical pencils,” says Buffy. “I want to write on the file folder with a mechanical pencil.” She does not sound very convincing.
“The supply cabinet in the outer office has those things,” says Wood.
“Oh,” Buffy points to the cabinet on the wall, “this isn’t a supply cabinet? Heh. My bad. Okay, thanks.” She starts toward the door.
Principal Wood steps in front of her. “Hey, Buffy, um, what are you doing tonight?”
“Preparing for tomorrow’s counseling sessions?” says Buffy.
“No, really.”
“Watching a reality show about a millionaire.”
Wood looks a little nervous. “Well, then I’d, um… I’d like to take you out to dinner, if that’s all right with you. I mean, you don’t have to. I’m certainly not saying ‘come to dinner if you enjoy having a job.’” He laughs nervously. “You know, I may have to make up a little document saying I didn’t just say that, and have you sign it.”
“Sure,” says Buffy. “I-I’d be happy to have dinner with you.”
“Great.” Principal Wood steps out of her way. “I’ll…draw up the paperwork.”
Wood closes his office door after Buffy has gone. He pulls an object wrapped in a handkerchief out of his pocket. He unwraps a bloody knife.
Wood wipes the blade clean, and moves over to his wall cabinet. He opens it up, and uncovers a white board. The white board slides up, revealing a collection of weapons, from small knives, up to swords and battle axes. He puts the knife into an empty holder in the cabinet. He looks back at the door Buffy left through.
Buffy sits on the couch in the living room watching Willow fold socks out of a laundry basket, and talking about her pending date with Principal Wood. “Isn’t that weird? He’s a principal. He’s a young, hot principal with earrings, but he’s a principal. Why do you think he asked me out? He could be interested, right?”
“Yeah, sure,” says Willow. “You’re a frisky vixen.”
“Or it could be work-related,” says Buffy. “Maybe I’m getting promoted for doing such a good job.”
Willow laughs, and then she sees the look Buffy’s giving her. “Oh, right. That—that makes sense, too.”
“Or maybe he knows that I suspect he’s up to something, and he’s taking me out to kill me,” says Buffy.
“Well, you’ll have to dress for the ambiguity.”
“You know, it’s not even that he’s acting that suspicious,” says Buffy. “It’s just there he is: on the Hellmouth all day every day. That’s gotta be like being showered with evil, only from underneath.”
“Not really a shower,” says Willow.
“A bidet,” says Buffy. “Like a bidet of evil.”
“Buff, if he’s really interested, are you…interested back?” asks Willow.
Buffy smiles. “I don’t know. He’s good-looking, and he’s—he’s solid. He’s smart. He’s normal. So not the wicked energy, which is nice, ’cause I don’t want to only be attracted to wicked energy. Or what if he is wicked, in which case, is that why I’m attracted to him?”
“I’m gonna wait for that sentence to come around again before I jump on.”
“You know what?” asks Buffy. “Yeah, I mean, I think I like him. And it would be good for me.”
“Right,” says Willow. “Help you move on.”
“Why does everybody in this house think I’m still in love with Spike?”
“No, I—I meant move on from this imposed super-self-reliance,” says Willow. “Let somebody get close.”
“Oh.” Buffy hears the door open. She’s glad to have the distraction. “Hey! Someone’s here.”
Xander comes into the living room. He’s all excited. “Guys, guess what happened?”
“Buffy got a date!” says Willow.
“No, I did!” says Xander. They all fall silent waiting for someone to provide more details. Xander speaks first. “Fine. Way to steal my thunder.”
“Sorry,” says Buffy. “If it makes you feel better, it’s Principal Wood, and I think he’s aligned with the First.”
“Also, like, ten years older than you, right?” asks Xander.
“Which is like a hundred years younger than your type,” says Willow.
“Yay!” says Buffy. “Someone who doesn’t remember the industrial revolution.”
“I think they’re gonna end up making out,” says Willow. She clutches a sock to her chest. “‘Oh, Principal Wood!’ she’ll gasp. ‘I love your lack of wicked energy.’”
Buffy tosses the matching sock at Willow. “Watch it, or I’m gonna make you talk about your new girlfriend who you hold hands with under the dinner table and think we don’t notice.”
“How about yours, Xander?” asks Willow. “Is she evil?”
“Well, she’s interested in me, so there’s a good chance, but I’m hoping for the best,” says Xander. “We’re going for coffee. She has a kayak—”
Xander is interrupted by Giles coming in the front door, loaded down with shopping bags. Chao-Ahn is with him. “Oh, dear lord, I hate that mall. The shop assistants are rude, and everything in the food court is sticky.”
“Looks like you found her some stuff,” says Willow.
“Oh, hello,” says Giles. “Yes.”
“It’s gotta be rough,” says Xander. “Getting just, like, pulled out of your home. Being told you’re a potential Slayer, not being able to bring anything.”
“Yes, and—and the language barrier is—is formidable,” says Giles. “I was concerned that my Mandarin was a little thin. As it turns out, she speaks Cantonese, which is…thinner. But we muddled through.” Giles smiles. “And as I suspected, ‘ice cream’ is a universal language.”
Chao-Ahn starts speaking in Cantonese again. “Like many from Asia, I am lactose intolerant. I’m very uncomfortable.”
Buffy smiles. “What’d she say?”
“She’s grateful to be in the land of plenty,” says Giles. He turns to Chao-Ahn, and starts talking very slowly. “Let’s, um, go and put away your new clothes.” He leads her up the stairs.
“Hey, Will, think you could do a computer check on Principal Wood?” asks Buffy. “See if you can find anything out?”
“Yeah, sure,” says Willow. “Want me to check your girl out while I’m at it, Xand?”
“Nope. I’m going in blind,” says Xander. “I’m gonna be an optimist about this. Why go looking for trouble? If it’s gonna find you, it’s gonna find you.”
Andrew is in the kitchen, reading the instruction manual for the new microwave. “‘Getting the most out of your new microwave.’ Hmm. Nice.” He flips to the table of contents. “‘Clock, comma, setting the’ page three.”
“You don’t need a manual.” Andrew looks up and sees Jonathan standing by the kitchen island. “It’s intuitive.” Jonathan points at the microwave. “There’s a button marked ‘clock set’ for pity’s sake. What kind of a nerd are you? No wonder you crashed your jet pack.”
Andrew stumbles back against the counter. “Oh… Get thee behind me. I rebuke thee.” He pulls a small cross out of his pocket, and holds it up. “Take that, the First.”
Jonathan sighs, and steps toward him. “Look, you monkey.” He waves his hand through the cross. “Ooh. Ahh. It burns as it ineffectually passes through me. I’m not corporeal, remember? Also not a vampire, so… a cross?”
Andrew looks uncertain about what to do next, but he eventually decides to put the cross down on the counter. “What do you want from me, Jonathan-slash-the-First?”
“I have an assignment for you.”
“Um, I follow Buffy’s orders now,” says Andrew. “I’m redeeming myself for…killing you. I mean, for killing Jonathan.”
“Really? Why?” asks Jonathan. “So you can earn a spot on her little pep squad? You think she’ll ever let you in? You’re a murderer.”
“Confidentially, a lot of her people are murderers,” says Andrew. “Uh, Anya, and Willow, and Spike.”
“Interesting, and you’re the only one she makes seek redemption,” says Jonathan. “Does that seem fair to you?”
“I guess not.”
“You know we’re headed toward a fight, don’t you?” asks Jonathan.
“Yeah.
“What do you think the world’s gonna be like after that?” asks Jonathan. “News flash: there’s not gonna be a Slayer gang anymore, but there is going to be evil. And as long as there is evil, I live. And as long as I live, you can dwell at my side.”
“That sounds nice.”
“And your assignment won’t be hard. They’re just little girls.”
Andrew doesn’t like the sound of that. “You want me to hurt the girls?”
“Um, no, not all of them,” says Jonathan. “Not Dawn, not Anya, not Willow, and not your friend Buffy. Just the potential Slayers.”
“That’s—that’s horrible!” says Andrew. “I’m—I’m gonna scream and—and get Buffy in here.”
“She can’t see me,” says Jonathan. “I’ll still be here, and I’m gonna keep talking until you hear what I have to say, so listen up, okay? The girls must die!”
“I could never do that,” says Andrew. “All those girls— All that blood— I didn’t like the stabbing before.”
“You don’t have to stab,” says Jonathan. “This’ll be easy. Andrew, I want you to think. Willow brought something to this house. Something good. Something you can use.”
Andrew thinks for a bit. “The new microwave?” He points to it.
Jonathan closes his eyes, and shakes his head. “The gun. I want you to think hard. Where did they put the gun?”
Andrew thinks. “Hmm.”
Anya scrubs at Buffy’s blouse by the bathroom sink. “I don’t think it’s really a date. That’s what I think.”
Buffy is watching her, wearing a lace bustier. “Well, it is unclear. That’s why I chose a top that says, you know, ‘I’m comfortable in a stodgy office, or a swinging casual setting, or killing you, you know, if you’re a demon.’”
“It also says ‘I sometimes get blood on my shoulder.’” says Anya. “Or it might be pizza,” she hands the blouse back to Buffy. “I don’t think I can fix it.”
Buffy takes her blouse. “Thanks for trying.”
“And I wasn’t talking about your date, anyway,” says Anya. “I was talking about this sham date of Xander’s. I think it’s part of a plan to make me jealous.”
“Well, it’s not working,” says Buffy.
“Are you nuts? Of course it’s working!” says Anya. “Observe my bitter ranting. Hear the shrill edge of hysteria in my voice!”
“Uh-huh,” says Buffy. “Um, I should really go find something else to wear,” she starts out of the bathroom.
“Fine, go,” says Anya. “Leave me here to stew in my impotent rage.”
Buffy stops and turns back to Anya.
“All right, well, I’m also gonna pee,” says Anya, “so you should probably go.”
Buffy closes the bathroom door behind her as she leaves. She starts down the hall toward her room, and runs into Spike, who has just come up the stairs. She starts to pull her blouse up to cover herself a bit, but stops.
Spike only takes a quick glance down at her body, and then focuses his attention on her face. “You look nice.”
“Oh, thanks,” says Buffy. “Traditionally one wears something over this.”
“Heard you got a date.”
“Well, it’s unclear,” says Buffy. “I mean, I have this whole theory about a promotion. Or he’s evil.”
“Buffy, I’m all right.”
“You don’t have to—”
“What? Be noble?” Spike shakes his head. “I’m not. I really am all right. Think I still dream of a crypt for two with a white picket fence? My eyes are clear.”
“Good. I’m glad,” says Buffy. “Thank you.”
“Never much cared for picket fences anyway,” says Spike. “Bloody dangerous.”
“You should try this, too,” says Buffy. “The going-out thing, I mean. I mean, there’s that girl you brought to Anya and Xander’s not-a-wedding.”
“Oh, yeah, right,” says Spike. “There’s always girls who like the look: bad boy, you know. Does it for some of ’em.”
“Yeah, I can see that. Well, I—I should go.” Buffy moves off toward her room. “I don’t want to be late.”
Xander sits at a table in the Espresso Pump, and nervously checks the clock. He looks up and sees Lissa coming toward him, and jumps to his feet. “Lissa, hi. I was afraid you weren’t coming.”
“We said 8:30, right?” asks Lissa. “Did you think I was gonna stand you up?” She sits down at the table.
Xander sits back down too. “Well, it would be kind of karmic.”
“What?”
“Forget it. I’m just glad you’re here. You’re gonna love the coffee. Got myself a Red Eye: black coffee with a shot of espresso. It’s kind of rough if you’re not used to that sort of—I—”
Lissa has reached across the table and grabbed his cup. She takes a sip out of it. “It’s hot cocoa!” She slides the cup back across the table to him.
“Well, sometimes I don’t sleep too good,” says Xander. “I just lost macho points, didn’t I?”
“Hey, who wants macho? I like that you like hot cocoa.” Lissa waves down a passing waiter. “Red Eye, please.” She sees the way Xander is looking at her. “Sounded good.”
Willow sits at her iBook at the research table with Kennedy looking over her shoulder. Dawn and Amanda sit looking on.
“Nothing?” asks Dawn. “No records or certificates? College transcripts?”
“Looks like the only stuff in the system about Principal Robin Wood is super recent,” says Amanda. “Like, since he moved to Sunnydale.”
“I’ve googled till I just can’t google no more,” says Willow. “He’s not in there.”
“Well, that’s suspicious,” says Kennedy.
Anya comes into the living room, with Giles on her heals. “Anya, calm down. They’re educational.”
Anya drops a stack of eight and a half by eleven cards on the table. “What’s this?” asks Willow.
“Giles made them for Chao-Ahn, and now she’s locked herself in the bathroom,” says Anya. “There’s other girls upstairs, and they’re starting to complain.”
“Those are flash cards,” says Giles. “I made them to facilitate her training. Chao-Ahn never had a watcher, and with the language problem—”
Willow has been looking through the cards. Giles’ stick figure drawings of a Bringer: killing a girl, a vampire: killing a girl. The Slayer: staking a vampire. Giles used a red marker to draw in lots of blood.
“You showed her these?” asks Willow.
“I wanted her to understand the seriousness of her situation.”
“Holy crap!” Dawn holds up the flash card for the Turok-Han, with a girl ripped apart at its feet.
“Perhaps I’ll rethink the approach,” says Giles.
“In the meanwhile, you wanna help us get researchy?” asks Willow. “We’re trying to invade Buffy’s date’s privacy.”
“Buffy has a date?” asks Giles.
“Yes. Didn’t you hear?” asks Anya. “Everybody has a date. Buffy has a date. Willow’s been completely making out with this girl.”
“Hey!” says Kennedy.
“Xander’s out with some hardware store whore,” says Anya. “It’s date-fest 2003.”
“Actually, Buffy’s investigating Principal Wood,” says Willow. “It’s not a date.”
“Really?” asks Giles.
“Might be a date,” says Willow.
Andrew peers in through the French doors at the group around the research table. “For god’s sake! How can anyone think about their social life?” asks Giles. “We are about to fight the original primal evil. These girls are in mortal danger.” Giles picks up his cards. “Didn’t you see the flash cards? This isn’t right.”
“This isn’t right.” Buffy looks around the alley that Principal Wood is leading her into.
Wood laughs. “I know it doesn’t look promising, but I swear this place is great. It’s the best-kept secret in town. It’s just right down this way.” He leads her deeper into the alley.
Buffy follows uncertainly. “Well, it is one of the nicer dark alleys.”
“I promise you it’s just a little bit further,” says Wood.
“Okay.”
A vampire steps out of the shadows ahead of them, blocking their path. Buffy looks around, and sees two more appear behind them.
Buffy kicks the vampire in front of her away, and turns to attack the two behind. One comes at her again, and she catches its arm. She hold it while she kicks the other two vampires away. She punches the vamp she’s holding in the gut. The vamp collapses onto the ground, and Buffy vaults off its back, onto the back of another vamp. She drives her stake into its heart, and the vampire turns to dust beneath her.
Buffy lands on her feet, and spins around. The two vamps are coming at her again. She knocks them both back with a double kick to their heads, and then stakes a second one.
The remaining vamp manages to catch Buffy with a kick to her head. She falls back onto the ground, but quickly flips back to her feet. The vamp tries again, but Buffy dodges the kick this time, and drives her stake into the vampire’s heart.
Buffy looks down the alley toward where she last saw Wood. “You set me up, you son of a—” She sees that Wood is engaged in a fight for his life against two more vamps. “What?”
Wood knocks one of the vamps back against a wall, and drives a stake through its back. It dusts. The last vamp attacks him again, and Wood kicks it to the ground, and stakes it too. He flips his stake around and slides it into a holster on his belt. He turns and looks at Buffy. “I guess we should talk.”
Buffy stands looking at Principal Wood. “The restaurant’s right there.” He nods down the alley. Buffy looks and sees that there is indeed a door to a small restaurant just a little way down alley. She looks back at Wood, completely confused. He gestures down the alley, and Buffy starts to move toward the door. He puts his hand on her back as he accompanies her.
“And you still have to see her, like, every day?” asks Lissa over her coffee.
“Yeah, but I guess that’s good,” says Xander.
“How is that a good thing?” asks Lissa. “I mean, it seems like she never lets you forget what happened.”
“Well, it’s on her mind a lot right now, I think, because our anniversary’s coming up,” says Xander. “I mean, it would have been our anniversary. And maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to forget it. I did— It was a bad thing. And it—it hurt her real bad.”
“And if you had gone ahead and married her even though you had doubts, that would have been better?”
“I guess not.”
“Sounds to me like in the long run, you’re both better off,” says Lissa. “I know it turned out good for me. And that’s what really matters, right?”
Xander smiles. “I should have taken you on a nicer date than this.”
“Well, I can think of something…fun to do,” says Lissa.
Buffy and Wood are seated at a table in the restaurant. Wood takes his menu, and thanks the waitress. Buffy looks around. “This place is nice. How the hell did you do that?”
Wood laughs. “I’ve had a little practice. Never took on two at once before, but I’ve taken out a vamp here or there, and some demons.”
“So you’re a freelance.”
“Mmm…freelance— I guess that’s a good way to put it.”
“And you know who I am.”
“You’re the Slayer.”
“Right,” says Buffy. “Okay. Um, so I’m guessing that you don’t work in an office fifteen feet above the Hellmouth because you enjoy educational administration.”
“Well, I actually do enjoy the work, but, yeah, yeah you’re right,” says Wood. “I maneuvered myself into that school, that office. Just like I maneuvered you there. The Hellmouth draws the bad things in close. And now we’re headed for something big, Buffy, really big, and I need to be here when it happens. I want to help.”
“So you didn’t hire me for my counseling skills?”
Wood laughs, but he sees the way Buffy is looking at him. “They’re valuable, too.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about you?”
“Well, I wasn’t sure about things yet.”
“You—you didn’t think you could trust me?” asks Buffy.
“Oh, no. No. I wasn’t sure I was ready yet. Ready to jump into this flame.”
“And…now you are?” asks Buffy.
“Well, now the fight is starting—or starting to start—and I don’t have time to worry anymore. I have to do something.”
“So you knew who I was before you even came here.”
“Yes.”
“How?” asks Buffy. “How do you know about Slayers?”
“Right,” says Wood. “Okay. See, when I was a little boy, my mother was one. The one, actually, the Slayer.”
“Your…mother…” Buffy is completely floored. “Wow, I— I—I didn’t know that any Slayers had children.”
“Well, I don’t know of any others,” says Wood. “She was killed when I was four. I still remember her, but it’s a little… fuzzy, you know?”
Buffy looks down for a moment. This is a difficult subject, for both of them. “Um, something…got…her? A demon—”
“A vampire,” says Wood. “Oh, man, I went through this whole avenging son phase in my 20s, but I never found him. So now I just dust as many of them as I can find and figure eventually I’ll get him. That’s probably why we got jumped outside. I’m not very popular with the bumpy-forehead crowd. I bet you aren’t either.”
Buffy smiles, and shakes her head. “No, not most of ’em. Um, so do you have any Slayer powers? I’m sorry. I— I’m just so floored. I have no idea what to ask.”
“No, I don’t have powers,” says Wood. “No super strength or mythic responsibilities. I’m just a guy with a few skills because her Watcher took me in and raised me.”
“So…you decided to tell me.”
“That’s right,” says Wood.
“In a darkened, little, romantic French restaurant?”
“Um…yeah.” Wood nods. “Yeah, not really sure how that happened, but… Yeah.”
Andrew enters the living room with a paper bag in his hands.
“Did you find the gun?” asks Jonathan.
“Yes, it was in Buffy’s underwear drawer,” says Andrew. “She has nice things.”
“Show me.”
“Well, I didn’t take ’em,” says Andrew. “But there were thongs and regular underpants.”
“Show me the gun.”
“Here.” Andrew opens the bag and holds it out so Jonathan can see the pistol at the bottom of it. “Willow tried shooting Kennedy with that.”
“Great,” says Jonathan. “There’s gonna be panic and fleeing when you start firing, so you’re gonna have to get ’em trapped some place like the basement.”
“And we’re killing them because…?”
“Because they’re the future of the Slayer line,” says Jonathan. “When they’re gone, the line is gone.”
“Uh-huh. Uh-huh,” says Andrew. “Um, so why not have Spike do it? He’s the one with the trigger.”
“It’s not time for him yet,” says Jonathan. “You can wait for the next time they’re training in the basement. Don’t just rely on a locked door to keep them in. You’ll need more.”
Andrew tries to casually lean against the living room desk. “Okay. Say, um, do you have any…weaknesses I should know about?” He starts to play with the buttons on the answering machine. “If I’m gonna work for you— like, uh, kryptonite or allergies?”
“What are you asking?” asks Jonathan.
“Oh, nothing. Um, are you— are you made out of the evil impulses of humans? So, like, if everyone was unconscious at the same time, you would fade away?” He picks up a pen, and starts to fiddle with it.
“You’re asking a lot of questions.”
Andrew is getting very nervous. He puts the pen down. “Yes, well—” He clears his throat. “I, uh, because— because I’m…evil, and I want to do the best I can…at that, so I wanna…” He clears his throat again. “…know stuff like when…when do we kill Buffy?”
“Are you wearing a wire?” asks Jonathan.
Willow rips the headphones off her head. She’s sitting at a table in the basement with Kennedy, Dawn and Amanda. They have a tape recorder between them.
Jonathan steps toward Andrew. “You think you can trick the First? You think you could squirm free? I hold you, Andrew.” He puts his hands against his chest, and when he pulls them away, they’re covered with blood. “I made you do this. Jonathan suffered. He was your friend, and he trusted you, and now he spends eternity in pain because of what you did.” Jonathan’s skin starts to turn a deathly grey.
“No,” says Andrew. “What’s happening to you?”
Jonathan is looking even deader. “This is what you did to him: took away everything he was and left him like this. You started down a road with that action. You have to keep going!”
“Stop looking like Jonathan,” says Andrew. “You’re not him. You’re the First, and you’re trying to get me to shoot innocent girls, but I won’t do it. I’m good now. And when the fight is over, I’m gonna pay for killing Jonathan.”
“You’re gonna pay for more than that,” says Jonathan. “You know why? Because the biggest, baddest First Evil in the world is angry with you.”
Jonathan’s voice echos through the basement. “You think this was smart?”
Willow has the headphones back on. “I’m hearing something.” She picks up a pen to take notes.
“You think you could trick me, women?” asks Jonathan.
Kennedy pulls the headphones off Willow. “It’s not in the headphones. It’s out here.”
“You only hear what I want you to hear. You only see what I want you to see.” Jonathan appears behind Amanda. He’s starting to look like a bloated corpse that’s been dead for quite some time. Dawn gasps when she sees him. Amanda looks around, and screams.
“So many dead girls,” says Jonathan. “There will be so many.” He vanishes.
“I knew it,” says Xander. “See? I knew it.” He’s tied to the wheel over the Seal of Danthalzar, with his jacket and shirt gone.
“Thanks for your help selecting the ropes,” says Lissa. “The one I picked wasn’t strong enough.”
“Yeah, that would have been bad,” says Xander. “Listen, is this because I’m friends with Buffy?”
“Who’s Buffy?”
“The Slayer.”
“You know the Slayer?” asks Lissa.
“This can’t just happen,” says Xander. “It can’t just keep happening that demon women find me attractive. There’s gotta be a reason.”
Lissa pulls on the rope to lift the wheel up, and suspend him over the Seal “You just seemed like a nice guy, that’s all. And I wanted to get to know you.”
“And kill me?”
Lissa ties off the rope, and turns back to Xander. “Sure. Do the ropes hurt?”
“Yes.”
Lissa smiles. “Good.”
Giles and Spike have joined the girls and Andrew in the living room, and they’ve been filled in on what happened. “So we’re thinking it didn’t go too well.” Willow finishes up.
Andrew has his shirt pulled up, and Dawn is in the process of removing the tape holding the microphone to his chest. “You should have let me do this fast,” she tells him.
“No, no, no. I hate that,” says Andrew. Dawn pulls at a piece of tape. “Ow!”
“You tried to record the ultimate evil,” says Spike. “Why? In a complex effort to royally piss it off?”
Kennedy is sitting on the arm of Willow’s chair. “Guess we succeeded pretty good, huh?”
“God, I never should have gone in wired,” says Andrew. “Redemption is hard.”
“Getting back to Spike’s question, why did you try to record it?” asks Giles.
“To study it,” says Willow. “To see if we could figure something out from what it was saying, because, guys, we have to face it: we know nothing about the First.”
Dawn is pulling on another piece of tape. “Ow-ee. Ow, ow,” says Andrew.
“Well, we know not to record it,” says Anya. “That’s something.”
“Why’d it appear to this one then?” Spike points at Andrew. “I thought it was supposed to be pulling my strings.”
“It said it wasn’t time for you yet,” says Andrew. Dawn pulls off the last bit of tape. “Aah.” He pulls down his shirt. “I’m frightened, and my chest hurts where the tape was.” He sits down on the arm of the sofa.
“It’s okay, Andrew.” Dawn smiles at him. “You did good. You stood up to it. That’s really amazing.”
Andrew smiles back. “Thank you. You’re a peach.”
“Yeah, what did it want you to do, anyway?” asks Anya.
“Shoot all the girls,” says Andrew.
“Shoot girls?” asks Dawn.
“Not you,” says Andrew. “Just the potentials.
“Oh, well, that’s something, anyway.” Dawn tries to cover her relief. “Something tragic.”
“This proves my point,” says Giles. “This time is crucial. We should be circling the wagons, instead of doing things like going out on dates when gun play is imminent. Willow, call Buffy. Get her back here. We need to dispose of the gun and figure out our next move.”
Spike turns toward the door. “I’ll go get her.”
“I’ll call.” Willow gets out her cell phone, and turns it on. It rings immediately.
“Bet that’s her,” says Amanda. “Sometimes you’re thinking about calling someone—”
“No, it’s a text message,” says Willow. “Oh, it’s from Xander. It’s one of our signals.”
“Signals?” asks Amanda.
“Yeah, the system we set up a while back, like codes,” says Willow. “Uh, this one’s either: ‘I just got lucky. Don’t call me for a while,’ or ‘My date’s a demon who’s trying to kill me.’”
“You don’t remember which?” asks Kennedy.
“It was a long time ago.”
“Well, if we play the percentages…” says Dawn.
“Something’s eating Xander’s head,” says Giles.
Anya smiles. “Say, that’s gratifying.”
“Buffy will know what to do,” says Andrew.
Spike turns toward the door again. “I’ll go get her.”
“That’s okay. We don’t even know where she went.” Willow punches Buffy’s number into her phone. Buffy’s phone, which is lying on the table beside her starts to ring. Willow picks it up. “That’s not good.”
“I’ll go get Buffy,” says Spike. “I can probably still track her scent. She’ll be worried about the boy.” He grabs his jacket on the way out the door.
Buffy takes a bite of her dessert. “Oh, my god! Mmm. Oh, my god! That might be the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth!”
“Isn’t it good? They soak the pears in brandy.” Wood picks up a slice with his fork, and dips it in the sauce. “Here. You need a bite with the sauce.” He holds out his fork, and Buffy leans forward to take it into her mouth.
Buffy glances something out of the corner of her eye. She looks up and sees Spike standing beside their table. “What are you doing here?”
“Is there a problem?” asks Wood.
“It’s Xander,” says Spike.
Xander hangs over the Seal of Danthalzar. “Look, I’ve— I know what happens if that seal down there gets all excited. I don’t think you understand what you’re getting yourself into.”
“The seal opens, and a vicious feral vampire creature comes out,” says Lissa.
“Well, then you do understand,” says Xander. “But what makes you think that’s, like, a good idea?”
“The end is coming, the final fight, and everyone is hearing the drumbeat. It’s telling us to pick our partners, align ourselves with the good or the evil.” Lissa picks up a short sword. Her eyes have transformed, turning gold with vertical cat-like slits for pupils.
Xander screams as she stabs the sword into his side. His blood starts to run down the blade, and drip onto the seal.
“Couldn’t have done it without you, Xander.” Lissa smiles. “Thanks for the great date.”
Xander groans when she pulls the sword out of him.
Wood drives Buffy and Spike toward the school. Spike sits in the back seat of his SUV while Buffy sits in the front beside Wood. “Are you sure he’s in the high school?” she asks.
“Willow did a locator spell,” says Spike. “Useful stuff.”
“I’m not surprised,” says Wood. “That school’s at the center of everything.”
“How much longer till we get there?” asks Buffy.
“Ten minutes.” Wood glances at Buffy. “So, how do you two know each other?”
“He works with me,” says Buffy. “Uh, you know, in the struggle against evil.”
“Hmm,” says Wood. “Cool.”
Buffy bursts through the door into the room with the Seal of Danthalzar. “Xander!” She sees Lissa standing with the sword, grabs her arm, and knocks the sword away.
“Buffy!” cries Xander.
Buffy punches and kicks at Lissa. She’s strong, and she’s fast. She knocks Buffy away. Spike attacks Lissa from behind. She pushes him up against the wall, punches him in the face, and then turns and kicks Buffy away.
Lissa throws Spike to the ground and starts to strangle him. Spike vamps out. Wood is surprised to see that.
“Oh, god! Hurry!” says Xander. Wood forgets about Spike, takes out a small knife and starts to cut at the ropes tying Xander to the wheel. More of Xander’s blood drips onto the seal. The symbols on it start to glow.
Spike knocks Lissa off him. Buffy has recovered, and attacks her.
Wood goes to work on the ropes tying Xander’s other wrist as one of the arms of the pentagram on the seal swings upward. The arm of a Turok-Han reaches out and grabs at Wood’s leg.
Wood gets Xander free, and carries him away from the seal. With its supply of blood cut off the seal snaps closed, cutting off the arm of the Turok-Han. Wood lays Xander down on the ground.
Buffy recovers the sword and slashes at Lissa. Lissa catches her arm, and they struggle for control of the sword. Lissa throws Buffy away, but Buffy keeps hold of the sword. Spike attacks Lissa again. She kicks him away, and then hits him with another kick to the head. She grabs Spike and smashes his head against the wall.
Buffy knocks Lissa away from Spike. When Lissa recovers, Buffy is ready. She swings the sword, and decapitates her. Lissa’s body reverts to its full demonic form as her head and body fall to the ground.
Buffy immediately goes to check on Spike. He’s picking himself up off the floor. He’s showing his human face again, and a little blood is running down from the corner of his mouth.
Wood watches Buffy with Spike, and their obvious concern for each other. Buffy sees him looking at them, and gets up to come kneel beside Xander. Spike follows, and stands behind her.
“I think your friend’s gonna be okay,” says Wood. He gets to his feet, and backs off a bit.
“Hey, Xand. I’m here,” says Buffy.
Xander looks up at her. “So, how’s your date going?”
Buffy looks up at Wood. Wood looks at Spike. Spike looks at Wood for a moment, and then looks down at Buffy.
Dawn stands in the open doorway of the house, looking out.
Anya is pacing around just inside the living room. “Where are they? It’s after 2:00. I can’t believe Buffy hasn’t brought him home yet. His slut ate him up.”
Willow watches from the sofa, where she’s sitting beside Andrew. “His slut didn’t eat him up. And, besides, I thought you were all angry at him.”
“My feelings are changeable, but intense,” says Anya.
“I understand your fear, Anya,” says Andrew. “I know fear myself ’cause, you know, I enraged that primal force.”
Giles comes in from the kitchen, with a glass of milk in his hand. “They’re not back yet?”
“I’m worried,” says Anya. “I think we should go find them. Xander could be injured or trapped or eaten up.”
Giles looks at his watch. “It is late. A little reconnaissance might be helpful.”
Chao-Ahn comes down the stairs, with a robe on over her pyjamas. “Why is everyone up?” she asks in Cantonese. “Are the flash card monsters attacking?”
“She says she can’t sleep.” Giles offers his glass of milk to her. “Um, I made myself some warm milk. You can have it.”
“You’re trying to kill me!” Chao-Ahn starts back up the stairs.
Giles looks around at the others. “She’s shy.”
“They’re back!” says Dawn from the door. “Oh, here they come!”
Anya comes to see for herself. “Is Xander all right?”
“He looks okay,” says Dawn.
Anya turns back into the living room. “Damn him.”
Buffy, Xander and Spike come in through the door. Xander’s jacket is open, and his shirt has been turned into a bandage wrapped around his stomach.
“What happened?” asks Willow.
“What do you think happened?” asks Xander. “Another demon woman was attracted to me. I’m going gay. I’ve decided I’m turning gay. Willow, gay me up! Come on, let’s gay.”
“What?” asks Willow.
“You heard me! Just tell me what to do,” says Xander. “I’m mentally undressing Scott Bakula. That’s a start, isn’t it?”
Andrew sighs wistfully. “Captain Archer.”
“Come on, let’s get this gay show on the gay road,” says Xander. “Help me out here.”
Buffy laughs. “What if you just start attracting male demons?”
“Clem always liked you,” says Dawn.
“Serve you right,” says Anya.
“Children, enough,” says Giles.
“I need some stylish new clothes,” says Xander.
“Oh, enough!” shouts Giles. “Have you learned nothing from tonight’s…assorted chaos? There isn’t time for fun and games and quips about orientation.” He picks up his flash cards off the desk, and holds them up, with the Bringer on top. “These…these aren’t a joke! This…this happens. Girls are gonna die. We may die. It’s time to get serious.”
Buffy sits alone on the sofa in her darkened living room. She’s changed out of her date clothes into a white sweater. Spike comes in and sits down beside her. “Anybody tell you about what happened round here tonight?”
“Willow did,” says Buffy. “The First is back in the mix.”
“It, uh… It talked to the little boy. Said it wasn’t time for me yet. I should move out, leave town, before it is time for me.”
“No,” says Buffy. “You have to stay.”
“You’ve got another demon fighter now,” says Spike.
“That’s not why I need you here,” says Buffy.
“Is that right?” asks Spike. “Why is that, then?”
“Because I’m not ready for you to not be here,” says Buffy.
Spike sits and looks at Buffy for a long time. “And the principal?” he asks. “How’s he fit in?”
Buffy looks at Spike. She doesn’t know how to answer that question.
Wood rinses out his mouth after brushing his teeth. He straightens up, and sees a black woman, about twenty years old, with a short afro hair cut, and wearing a black leather duster in the mirror behind him. “You look good,” she says.
“You’re not my mother,” says Wood.
“I give you a compliment, and you don’t say thank you?” she says. “Did I raise you that way?”
“You didn’t raise me at all.”
“Well, I was dead.”
Wood turns around, his face impassive. He walks toward her, and doesn’t stop. He walks right through her. He stops and turns around when he reaches the bathroom door. He leans against the frame. “So, you’re the First. Why are you here? Why now?”
“’Cause you’ve been coming up in the world, taking the demons out,” she says. “It makes a mother proud.”
“Yeah?” Wood steps toward her. “Well, think how pleased she’ll be when I help take you out. Until it’s time for that… I’ve got no use for you.” He turns and starts to walk away.
“Would you like to know who killed me?” she asks. He stops and turns around again. “I know you went looking for him.”
“You don’t know anything.”
“Is that right?” she asks. “Well, you can check it out after I tell you. Check the timing, reread what the witnesses said, and the people on the subway station.”
“Who is it?” asks Wood.
“You met him,” she says. “You know him. You fought at his side.”
“Spike,” says Wood.
The First smiles. “Now…what do you say?”
“Thank you,” says Wood.
| Who or What | Where | How |
|---|---|---|
| Vampire 1 | Alley | Staked by Buffy |
| Vampire 2 | Alley | Staked by Buffy |
| Vampire 3 | Alley | Staked by Buffy |
| Vampire 4 | Alley | Staked by Principal Wood |
| Vampire 5 | Alley | Staked by Principal Wood |
| Lissa demon | School basement | Beheaded by Buffy |