Introduction
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| Entropy | Villains |
Willow and Tara wake up naked and entwined together among the sheets of Willow’s bed. Willow kisses Tara, and sighs with contentment. She rests her head in Tara’s lap. “I forgot how good this could feel. Us together…without the magic.”
Tara smiles at her. “There was plenty of magic.”
Willow looks at the daylight coming in their window and says that it’s getting late, but neither of them is ready to get out of bed yet. Willow is a little worried about Buffy. She didn’t hear her come in last night. “She wouldn’t talk about what happened at the magic shop when she got home last night. She just wanted to know how close I was to tracing the camera signal back to the Empire of the Nerds. Then she left again.”
Willow isn’t really worried about Warren and the other nerds. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but…I think something might be going on…with Spike and Buffy. I mean, she looked so hurt when she saw him with Anya. I think maybe—”
“They’ve been sleeping together,” blurts out Tara.
Willow laughs. “No. I wouldn’t go that far.”
“No,” says Tara, “I mean she told me they’ve been sleeping together.”
Willow sits up. “Sleeping together? You mean like the naked kind of together?”
Tara apologises for not telling Willow earlier, but she’d promised Buffy she wouldn’t. Willow is worried that everyone knows about this but her. Tara tells her that isn’t the case.
Willow sighs. “How could she hide something like this from me?”
“I think she was afraid of the look you’d get on your face,” says Tara. She looks at Willow’s expression. “Kinda like the one you’re wearing now.”
“Oh, no, I’m not—” Willow shakes her head. “I’m just…trying to understand.”
“So is she.”
“Wow, she probably really needs someone to talk to,” says Willow.
“Probably,” says Tara. “We’ve been kinda busy. Maybe we didn’t hear her come home.”
Willow pulls on an oversized t-shirt, and goes out into the hallway. She knocks on Buffy’s door, and when she gets no answer she opens the door and looks inside. Buffy’s bed hasn’t been slept in.
Dawn comes out of the bathroom in her pyjamas and asks if Buffy’s back yet. Willow tells her she isn’t, but she’s sure everything’s fine. Dawn should go back to bed.
“It’s ten o’clock,” says Dawn. “You don’t think she’s…going to hurt Spike, do you?”
Willow’s surprised. “She told you about Spike?”
“It was kinda obvious after last night,” says Dawn.
Willow feigns agreement. “Yeah. I totally knew.”
“It must’ve hurt so much,” says Dawn, “to see him and Anya like that? And poor Xander. Everything is so screwed up.”
“It’s going to be all right,” says Willow. “It’s just…complicated. You know, when people have such strong feelings for each other, sometimes—”
Tara comes out of Willow’s room, wrapped in a blanket. “Is she back yet?” She sees Dawn. “Oh. Hey.”
Dawn is delighted to see Tara. Tara thinks that maybe she should be going back and getting some clothes on, but Dawn will have none of that. “No! No, no, no. I’m totally not here. You guys, you do whatever you want. Um…I’ll go watch TV.” She laughs. “Downstairs. Real loud. In the basement, where I can’t hear…anything!” She squeals with delight and starts down the stairs. “Aah! Oh my god! Oh my god!” She turns around and comes back up. “I love you guys!”
Buffy kicks open the door into the nerd’s lair. “All right! Let’s make this quick.”
Buffy doesn’t get any response. She starts down the stairs “Fine. But I’m not leaving till we have a little chat. Very little, considering the pummeling that needs to occur.”
Buffy looks around the lair. There’s no sign of Warren, Jonathan or Andrew. She checks out a Vampirella action figure on a shelf. “Eww.”
Buffy keeps looking around. She picks up some loose pieces of paper, and a couple of CDs. “I mean, guys, hello! Slayer here! Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find you..” She notices that the drafting board is tipped up toward the ceiling.
Buffy tilts down the board. “TOO LATE!” is written on it.
“Well, that can’t be good.”
A buzz saw slices through the drafting board and swings toward Buffy. More saws come out of the closets, slicing through the closet doors and out into the lair. Buffy scrambles out of their path. More saws swing horizontally through the lair and neck and knee level. Buffy dives between them.
Buffy grabs more books and papers as she evades saws, and runs for the stairs. A saw slices through the railing right behind her. She dives out the front door of the house, scattering the things she had managed to grab across the lawn.
Buffy gets back to her feet, and starts to gather things up. She notices that one of the saws sliced through the front of her leather jacket, ruining it. “Okay. That’s going to cost ya.”
Willow and Tara come laughing down the stairs together, and into the living room. Buffy and Dawn are waiting for them. Buffy tells them that this can wait, if they want to spend more time with each other.
Willow and Tara keep giggling, and holding and kissing each other, but they tell Buffy that they’re good.
Willow gets herself under control and lets go of Tara. “Okay, all right. We’ll stop.”
“Oh, you better not!” says Dawn.
Tara asks for news on the nerds. Buffy says that she found their lair, but they’d cleared out. They must have known that Willow was tracing their network. They took the van, but they left nearly everything else behind. Willow proposes that she and Tara go check out the lair.
Buffy tells them not to bother. “There’s nothing left now. Giant buzz saw. It was a thing.” She points at the papers and stuff on the coffee table in front her. “This is all that I could save. I know it’s not much, but we need to go through it and see if we can find anything that might tell us what they’re doing, where they’re going.”
Tara picks up one of the books. It had been nearly sliced in two, and falls apart in her hands. “Oh. Um…this might…take a while.”
Buffy asks if there’s anything they can do to speed things up. She wants to find Warren and the others before someone else gets hurt. Willow suggests that they call Xander, but Buffy thinks he needs some time on his own.
“Maybe they’ve heard something in the demon bars about those guys,” says Dawn. “Uh, Spike’s—”
“Spike— Spike’s not part of the team,” says Buffy.
“So he’s not…going to be around anymore?”
Buffy knows how Dawn feels about Spike, and tries to reassure her. “Uh…I don’t know, Dawn. Not—not for a while.”
Tara suggests that Anya might be helpful with the demon texts, but Buffy doesn’t think she’s in a research mood right now either.
A girl sits at a bar crying into her martini.
Anya appears beside her. “I know how you feel. Maybe I can help.”
The girl swizzles the olives in her drink. She can’t understand how Carl could do that to her. Anya thinks that him being a man is explanation enough.
“But with my sister?” asks the girl “She’s not even pretty.”
“Well, it isn’t always about looks,” says Anya. “Or a beating heart. Sometimes intimate, sweaty relations with the wrong person just seems like a good idea at the time.”
“She’s fat!” cries the girl. “He cheated on me with my fat, ugly sister.”
“Likes ’em fleshy, huh? Bet you wish he’d bloat up a couple of thousand pounds and pop like a big ol’ meat zeppelin, don’t you?”
“He said he loved me.”
“Oh, gee, then he must’ve meant it,” says Anya, “’cause, hey, guys never say anything they don’t really mean, do they?”
“But we—”
“They say, ‘I love you,’ and you think it’s true. They say, ‘Oh, Anya, I want to be with you for the rest of my life.’ And—and you believe them. You believe they feel the same way about you because that’s the way love’s supposed to be, right?”
“Who’s Anya?” asks the girl.
Anya ignores her. “And then you get all excited with the tingly anticipation. But wait! Not so fast. There’s the apocalypse and the back from the grave and the blah blah blah blah. And by the time you’re finally standing there in that beautifully expensive white dress you dreamed about ever since you became human, he gets all heebie-jeebie and decides, ‘You know, I’d rather just go steady.’”
“Men suck,” says the girl. “I wish Carl’s flesh would be—”
“You know, he said it isn’t me, but how can I believe him?” asks Anya. “I mean… He knew he didn’t want to get married. Deep down, he knew. But he lied to me every day, for months.”
“I wish—”
“He lied and lied and lied some more!” says Anya, “’Cause, hey, who’s going to notice with all the other lies flying around like little monkeys? Then he thinks he can just sweep the carnage underneath the rug by saying—”
“I’m sorry. Sorry!” Andrew crawls away from a large Nezzla demon in a cavern. “Please! I’ll never try to desecrate your chamber again. Don’t…hurt me. Please.”
The demon cries out in agony when Warren hits it with a shock stick, but it keeps coming at Andrew. Warren hits it a couple more times before it collapses.
Warren is surprised that it took so much. “One jolt from this should’ve dropped an elephant.”
Andrew takes the shock stick and starts prodding the demon with it again and again. “You want a piece of this? Huh? Yeah! Not so tough are you now, Puff ’N’ Stuff?”
Warren pulls Andrew away. They need the demon fresh, not cooked.
“I’m done bein’ the bait,” says Andrew. “Next time, one of you can wiggle on the hook.”
Warren kneels down to examine the demon. “If this works, the next time, we’ll be the thing that everyone’s afraid of.”
Jonathan asks what’s next. Warren flips open a large knife and tosses it to him. “Well, now it’s your turn, Sparky.”
Spike adds a generous shot of vodka to his glass of blood, and takes a sip.
“Does it help?”
Spike turns and sees Dawn standing in the doorway of his crypt. “Doesn’t hurt.” He sees that Dawn has a backpack slung over her shoulder. “Not plannin’ a camp-out, are we?”
Dawn tells Spike she just stopped by on her way over to Janice’s. She wants to give Willow and Tara some time alone. Spike isn’t pleased to learn that someone’s love life is going well.
Dawn ignores that. “I wanted to stop by on my way, and…you know. Everybody’s pretty mad at you.”
Spike sits down in his armchair, with his back to her. “Yeah. Kinda picked up on that.”
“You’re not going to be coming around anymore…are you?”
Spike looks off into the empty space in front of him. “It’s complicated, Nibblet.”
“Everybody’s been saying that.”
“Must be true, then.” Spike takes another sip of his blood.
“Was it worth it… What you did with Anya?”
Spike looks around at Dawn. “Buffy told you?”
“Kinda caught the show,” says Dawn. “There was a camera somewhere in the Magic Box. Warren and Jonathan and that other guy have been watching Buffy.”
Spike sighs and shakes his head. “Wankers!”
Dawn steps down out of the doorway. “Do you love her?”
“Uh, no. No. It was just a…uh… It was a bad day. For both of us. I don’t know. We just had a few drinks, and things just—”
“No! Not Anya,” says Dawn. “Buffy. Do you really love her?” Spike sits silently looking at his drink. “Then how could you do that to her?”
“Oh, right, ’cause big sis was treatin’ me so well up until that point,” says Spike. “Must still be a bit of the evil left in me after all.”
“I don’t know what happened between you two,” says Dawn. “But what you did last night… If you wanted to hurt Buffy, congratulations. It worked.” She turns and walks out of the crypt.
A Nezzla demon steps through a shimmering energy barrier and walks away through the cavern. Andrew and Warren step out of a side passage. This is what they’ve been looking for. Andrew steps toward the barrier.
Warren holds him back. “Be careful! Only Nezzla demons can pass through the barrier.” He picks up a rock and tosses it at the barrier. It vapourises. “Everything else gets curly-fried.”
Jonathan shambles down the passage. “This sucks.” He’s wearing the skin of the demon they’d killed. “Why can’t I just use a glamour?”
“You can’t Siegfried and Roy the barrier,” says Andrew. “It’s got to be the real deal.” Warren pulls the skin of the demon’s head which had been hanging down behind Jonathan’s back up over his head.
“Ohh!” says Jonathan. “It’s still wet.”
“Good,” says Warren. “Then it should, uh, still be fresh enough.”
“Should be?” asks Jonathan. “Wait a minute. What do you mean? What do you mean, should be?”
Warren shoves Jonathan through the barrier. Jonathan falls to the ground on the other side. Warren looks at Andrew. “Wasn’t sure that would work.”
Jonathan picks himself up. “Jackass!” He turns and shuffles farther into the cavern.
Andrew asks Warren if he thinks Jonathan suspects anything. Warren is sure he doesn’t. Andrew wonders why they haven’t dumped Jonathan already. They could have done this themselves.
“Yeah, well, somebody had to guinea pig the meat suit,” says Warren. “Were you going to volunteer?”
Andrew laughs, but he still doesn’t trust Jonathan. Warren doesn’t think that matters. “This works the way we planned it, by the end of the evening, Jonathan won’t be a problem.”
Jonathan comes back out through the barrier carrying a small wooden box. Warren takes the box away from him.
“That’s it?” asks Andrew.
“Better be.” Jonathan pulls back the hood of demon skin. “No way I’m goin’ back through there. That thing stings like a mother.” He’s covered in demon slime.
Andrew feels at Jonathan’s hair. “Dude. Unholy hair gel.”
Jonathan pushes him away. “Get off.”
Warren tells them to shut up. He runs an electronic device over the top of the box and pulls it open, revealing the two red orbs held inside. “Gentlemen, the Orbs of Nezzla’khan. Strength. Invulnerability. The deluxe package.”
“You know, those things have been down there for, like, a zillion years,” says Jonathan. “How do we know they’ll still work?”
Warren takes the orbs in his hands. They glow bright purple. Power flows from them into his body. His eyes glow. He laughs. “Oh, they work!”
Jonathan and Andrew look at Warren. The purple glow has faded. They don’t think he looks any different. “I thought they were supposed to make us all huge and veiny,” says Andrew. “Are you sure they’re working right?”
Warren puts the orbs into a leather pouch on his belt. “Let’s find out.” There’s a Nezzla demon coming down the passage toward them.
The demon swings at Warren, and knocks him back against the cavern wall. He recovers quickly and comes back at the demon. It swings again, and Warren blocks it easily. He grabs the demon’s head in his arms and snaps its neck.
“Mahatma!” says Jonathan.
Warren straightens up, and spreads his arms. “Welcome to the show, boys!”
Jonathan grabs for the pouch on Warren’s belt. “Let me try ’em!”
Warren grabs Jonathan’s wrist. “Watch the paws, little man.”
“Ow!” Jonathan rubs his wrist. “We’re supposed to share.”
Warren tells him to relax. They’ll all get a turn. “Soon as I’m done playin’ with ’em.”
Buffy knocks on the door of Xander’s apartment. He answers it with a can of beer in his hand. He turns away and tells her there’s more in the fridge.
Buffy follows Xander into the apartment and thanks him for the offer but it’s still a little early in the day for her. The apartment is a mess, with empty beer bottles and cans scattered around it.
Xander sits on the sofa, and Buffy sits on a foot stool facing him. “She loves you. You know that. Anya was just— She was hurting. She was hurting, and she did this really stupid thing.”
“With your boyfriend,” says Xander.
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
Xander understands why Anya did what she did, but he doesn’t understand Buffy and Spike. “All those times I told Spike to get lost…that he didn’t have a chance with a girl like you.”
“You don’t know how hard it’s been,” says Buffy.
“What, lying to me?”
“Being here,” says Buffy. “After I was brought back. You have no idea how hard it is just being here.”
“You could have told me.”
“You didn’t want to know.”
“So you went to him instead.”
“Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business.”
“It used to be,” says Xander.
Buffy tells Xander that what happened with Spike just happened, but Xander doesn’t understand that. “Oh. Like, uh, ‘Say, you’re evil. Get on me?’”
Buffy’s expression hardens. “You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn.”
“But I never forgot what he really is,” says Xander. “God, what were you thinking?”
Buffy doesn’t think Xander’s in any position to criticise anyone’s decisions.
“I’m not saying I didn’t make any mistakes,” says Xander, “but last time I checked, slaughtering half of Europe wasn’t one of ’em. He doesn’t have a soul, Buffy. Just some leash they jammed in his head. You think he’d still be all snuggles if that chip ever stopped working? Would you still trust him with Dawn then?”
“It doesn’t matter,” says Buffy. “I’m not seeing him anymore. It’s over.”
“Yeah. There’s a lot of that goin’ around.” Xander crushes the empty beer can in his hand and tosses it away. He gets up off the sofa and leaves the apartment.
Xander walks down Sunnydale’s main street. He stops in front of the Magic Box, and looks in the window. He can see Anya through the blinds, listlessly dusting items on the shelves. He starts toward the door, but stops and walks away.
Willow and Tara have moved to Tara’s dorm room, and they’re in Tara’s bed together. Willow has her iBook open, checking out the contents of the CDs Buffy recovered from the geek’s lair. Tara is sorting through the papers. Willow is having trouble decrypting the data, but she expects to get it soon, and be able to foil their evil scheme.
“Finally get out of bed,” says Tara.
Willow keeps typing. “I was with you up until there.” Something comes up on her computer screen. “Whoa!”
Tara moves to look over Willow’s shoulder, and asks what she’s found. The latest disc Willow’s decrypted is full of blueprints and schematics, but all the designations have been deleted.
“Maybe we can cross-reference them with the County Clerk’s office,” says Tara.
“Would that involve getting up?” asks Willow.
“Eventually.”
“Then I’m coming out firmly against it,” says Willow.
“What about the Trio’s evil scheme?” asks Tara.
Willow grins. “Well, I’m kinda busy workin’ on my own.” She dives under the sheets.
Tara giggles, and gasps with pleasure. “Evil’s good!” 1
The bartender in the Bronze spills booze over Xander’s hand as he refills his drink.
The pretty girl sitting beside him at the bar hands Xander a napkin. “You’re all wet.”
“It’s a good thing I’m part fish,” says Xander.
“Which part?”
“The part with the hook in it.”
“Careful,” says the girl. “Someone might reel you in.”
“Yeah, but then there’d be the flopping and the gasping,” says Xander. “Sure, maybe it’d work out, but chances are, I’d up and leave you at the helm in your white dress, then find you spawning with another fish who turns out to be spawning my very good friend night and day behind my back. And then comes the fighting, and again with the flopping and the gasping. Hey, Chicken of the Sea here’s not doin’ too good with the women these days.”
The girl looks confused. “Huh?”
Xander smiles at her and apologises. He just wants to be alone tonight.
Warren, Andrew and Jonathan enter the Bronze. Jonathan looks at his watch. “We don’t have time for this!” Andrew tells him to ease up.
Warren looks around. He sees a girl leaning against a pillar, talking with a jock. “All right. Let’s make some noise.”
Buffy trades blows with a vampire in a cemetery. “Not bad,” she tells it. “How hard you going to hit when you’re blowing in the wind?”
Buffy stabs her stake into the vampire’s heart. It lands one last kick to her head as it disintegrates into dust. Buffy is knocked back against a headstone, and breaks it in two.
Buffy slowly sits up, groaning in pain. “That was rhetorical.” She rubs her aching back. “Ow!”
Buffy is still rubbing her back when she goes into the bathroom in her house, dressed in a bathrobe, and starts to fill the bathtub with water.
“Are you hurt?” asks Spike from the door. “You’re not moving so well.”
Buffy doesn’t look at him. “Get out.”
Spike comes the rest of the way into the bathroom and closes the door. “We have to talk.”
Buffy does not want to talk to Spike. She tells him to get out.
“I’m sorry,” says Spike. “Not that it matters anymore, but I needed you to know that.”
“Why?”
“Because I care about you,” says Spike.
“Then you might want to try the not sleeping with my friends.”
Spike tells Buffy that he went to Anya looking for a spell to make him stop feeling the way he does, but that doesn’t make Buffy feel any better.
“You should have let him kill me,” says Spike.
“I couldn’t do that.”
“Why?”
“You know why,” says Buffy.
“Because you love me.”
Buffy turns away, and turns off the taps filling the bathtub. “No, I don’t.”
“Why do you keep lying to yourself?” asks Spike.
“How many times—” Buffy stops herself. “I have feelings for you. I do. But it’s not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love.”
Spike laughs. “Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy. Great love is wild, and passionate, and dangerous. It burns and consumes.”
“Until there’s nothing left,” says Buffy. “Love like that doesn’t last.”
Spike moves toward Buffy. “I know you feel like I do. You don’t have to hide it anymore.”
“Spike, please stop this.”
Spike reaches for Buffy’s waist. “Let yourself feel it.”
Buffy pushes him away. “No.”
“You love me.” Spike tries to kiss her.
Buffy pushes him away. “No. Stop it.”
Spike keeps pressing. “You love me.” He tries to slide a hand inside her robe.
Buffy pushes Spike away more forcefully. “Spike, don’t!” He doesn’t let up. “What are you doing?”
Buffy tries to push Spike off. She slips on the floor and grabs at the shower curtain to try and stay on her feet. It rips loose, and she falls to the floor and hits her head on the edge of the bathtub.
Spike pins Buffy back against the side of the tub. “Let it go. Let yourself love me!” He tries to kiss her.
“Spike, no! I’m hurt! Stop it!” Spike ignores her. He grabs her shoulders and tries to pull her to him for a kiss. Buffy tries to push him away and wriggle out of his grasp, but she can’t get any leverage.
Spike holds Buffy down on the floor. “I know you felt it…when I was inside you.” Buffy pushes him away, and crawls toward the bathroom door, pleading for him to stop.
Spike grabs Buffy’s leg and pulls her back. He rolls her over and pins her wrists to the floor. “You’re going to let me inside you.”
“Please! Spike stop!”
“You’ll feel it again, Buffy.” Spike tries to pull her robe open. “I’ll make you feel it.”
“Stop!” Buffy gets a leg up, and kicks Spike away across the bathroom.
Buffy scrambles back to her feet, pulls her robe shut, and glares at him. “Ask me again why I could never love you!”
Spike looks up at Buffy, seeming to come to his senses. “Oh god. Buffy… I didn’t—”
“Because I stopped you!” says Buffy. “Something I should have done a long time ago.”
Andrew sips a fruity drink through a straw while he and Jonathan watch Warren putting his moves on the girl who’d been talking with the jock when they came in.
Jonathan does not think this is a good idea. Too many people in the Bronze are liable to recognise them. “We’re risking everything so that Charles Atlas can get a date. He’s going to end up getting us thrown into jail. Or worse. Maybe you and I should think about—”
Andrew cuts him off. “Warren’s the boss. He’s Picard, you’re Deanna Troi. Get used to the feeling, Betazoid.” He walks off toward Warren.
Warren is working his line on the girl. “…and the clothes and the cars and the money— see, it’s all just window dressing.” She’s not impressed, but Warren doesn’t notice. He takes hold of her hand. “Baby, this is what’s really important. Two souls comin’ together.”
“Hey!” says the jock who had been with the girl earlier. He steps between Warren and the girl. “She only comes together with me, so get lost, shrimp!”
Warren looks up at him. “Frankie? Oh, my god, is that you? How long has it been?” Frankie just looks confused. He doesn’t recognise Warren at all. “It’s Warren. Remember Warren? Gym class, fifth period? Man, you and your jock buddies used to give me such a hard time. That thing with the underwear? God, I thought I’d never stop crying.”
“That was you?” asks Frankie.
“Yeah, that was me.” Warren pats Frankie on the chest. “But, hey, no hard feelings. I mean, I know you were just foolin’ around, like I’m going to be with your girl, in about five minutes.”
“What’d you say?”
“You heard me, Meathead. Take a walk.”
“Oh, you’re dead, you little—” Frankie grabs Warren’s shoulders, and tries to push him away. Warren doesn’t budge.
“This ain’t high school.” Warren hits Frankie in the chest with his open hand and knocks him flying across the Bronze. One of Frankie’s friends swings a punch at Warren’s head, but Warren catches his fist, and snaps his arm. Another guy smashes a chair against Warren’s back. Warren barely notices. He hits the guy with the back of his hand, and knocks him over the bar.
Warren looks around at the way everyone in the Bronze is looking at him. “Let’s party!” He smacks his hand down on top of the cash register at the bar, and its drawer springs open. He reaches into it and pulls out a wad of cash. He turns to a group of girls sitting looking scared at the bar. “Oh, don’t worry about the tab now, ladies, it’s on daddy tonight.”
Warren rubs the cash along the arm of the girl who had been talking with Xander earlier. “Don’t worry baby. Daddy going to give you some, too.”
Xander has just returned from the washroom. “See, now, I think it’s the ‘daddy’ thing that’s throwin’ her, ’cause incest is not that sexy.”
Jonathan tries to hide his face. “Aw, crap.”
Xander doesn’t notice him. His attention is focused on Warren. “So, uh, why don’t we leave the ladies to their impending nausea and move the freak show outside. What do you say?”
“Okay. But let me ask you something first.” Warren leans a little closer to Xander. “You think maybe you could put in a word for me with that Anya chick? ’Cause if she’s taking it from a vamp, I think I might have a chance.”
Xander punches Warren in the face. Warren barely feels it, but Xander shakes his hand from the pain.
“No wonder she’s screwing a dead guy,” says Warren. “You hit like a girl.”
Xander looks up from his hurting hand. “Well, at least I know how to get one.”
Warren punches Xander in the face, and knocks him flying across a pool table. He pushes it aside easily and strides across the floor. He starts to reach down for Xander. “Let’s see how popular you are without a face.”
Jonathan grabs Warren’s arm, and tells him that they have to be going.
Warren looks at Jonathan’s hand on his arm. “We go when I’m ready.”
Jonathan pulls his hand away. “Hey, it’s your call.” He shows Warren his watch. “But we’re going to miss that thing you wanted to do tonight if we don’t leave right now. That’s all I’m saying.”
Warren is clearly torn, but whatever else it is that they have planned for tonight wins out. He looks down at Xander. “It’s your lucky night, Shemp.”
Andrew isn’t pleased with the idea of just leaving Xander. “What if he sics the Slayer on us?”
“Bring her on,” says Warren. He starts out of the Bronze. Andrew follows him. Jonathan hangs back for a moment, looking at Xander before he follows them out.
Xander enters the front door of Buffy’s house, and calls out for her. His face is still bloody from the punch he got from Warren. “I found Warren. Actually, my face kinda found—” He sees Spike’s duster hanging over the stairway railing.
Xander bursts into the bathroom with Spike’s duster in his hand. “Is this what you call not seeing Spike anymore?” He stops when he sees Buffy sitting on the floor. “What did he do?” He sees a bruise on Buffy’s thigh. “Did he hurt you?”
Buffy looks up at him. “He tried. He didn’t—”
“Son of a bitch!” Xander turns away, ready to go after Spike and kill him once and for all. Buffy tells him not to.
They hear Willow coming in the front door. She comes running up the stairs. “Hey, I think we finally have something—” She sees Buffy on the floor. “What happened?”
Buffy pulls her robe across her leg, hiding her bruise. “Nothing. What’d you find out?”
Buffy gets dressed and meets with Xander, Willow and Tara in the dining room. Xander has cleaned himself up, and holds an icepack against his bruised face. Willow tells them that they’ve managed to decipher just about everything, except for some sheets of paper covered with a strange script. It isn’t written in any ancient language they could identify.
Xander glances at the papers. “It’s Klingon. They’re— they’re love poems.” He sees the look that the girls are all giving him. “Which has nothing to do with the insidious scheme you’re about to describe.”
Buffy asks Willow and Tara what they have besides the poetry. Tara holds up the CD that Willow had decrypted. It’s full of plans and schematics for things like bank vaults, and armoured car routes.
Willow hands printouts to Buffy. “They’re looking to score some serious dinero. We don’t think they’re planning just one job.”
Buffy looks over the papers Willow has given her. There are too many places for her to have any hope of covering them all. Willow doesn’t think she’ll have to. There’s one item on the list that has to be done tonight.
Buffy gets up to go. “Be careful,” says Xander. “Warren’s gone all Mighty Mouse, emphasis on the might.”
“Good,” says Buffy. “Then I won’t have to hold back.”
Spike enters his crypt, running his attack on Buffy through his head, over and over. He pours himself a large glass of vodka, and takes a drink from it. The glass shatters in his hand under the force of his grip on it.
“Uh, knock knock.” Spike looks up and sees Clem standing in the doorway. “I was just in the neighbourhood, so I thought, you know, there’s a Knight Rider marathon on the TV, so—” He holds up a bucket of chicken. “I got hot wings!”
“What have I done?” asks Spike. “Why didn’t I do it? What has she done to me?”
At first Clem doesn’t know who Spike’s talking about, but he quickly figures it out. “Gosh, she break up with you again?”
“We were never together. Not really,” says Spike. “She’d never lower herself that far.”
“She’s a sweet girl, Spike, but, hey, issues. And no wonder, with the whole coming back from the grave and whatnot. I had this cousin who got resurrected by some kooky shaman.” Clem twirls his fingers beside his ear. “Whoo, boy, was that a mess.”
Spike wants to know why he feels this way. He puts his hand to his head, trying to dig his fingers into his scalp. “I can feel it…squirming in my head.”
“Love?” asks Clem.
“The chip,” says Spike. “Little Jiminy Cricket, gnawing bits and chunks. Everything always used to be so clear. Slayer, vampire. Vampire kills Slayer, sucks her dry, picks his teeth with her bones. It’s always been that way. I’ve tasted the life of two Slayers. [China, New York] With Buffy— It isn’t supposed to be this way. It’s the chip. Steel and wires and silicon. It won’t let me be a monster…and I can’t be a man. I’m nothing.”
Clem pats Spike on the shoulder. “Hey, come on now, Mr. Negative. You never know what’s just around the corner. Things change.”
Spike looks up. “They do.” He gets a determined look on his face. “If you make them.”
A guard loads the last bags of cash into the back of an armoured car. It’s the take from the opening weekend at the Wild River Adventure theme park. The armoured car is packed full.
The park manager signs off the clipboard that the guard hands him. This is always their biggest weekend of the year. “Don’t lose any.”
The guard locks the back door, and gets into the cab beside the driver. The driver starts the engine, and suggests that maybe they go out to get something to eat, once they’re finished with this delivery. He puts the armoured car in gear, and tries to pull away. They don’t move.
“What the hell?” asks the driver. The armoured car starts to tip up on its side.
Jonathan and Andrew watch Warren lifting the armoured car, and rolling it onto its side.
“I can’t wait to get my hands on his orbs,” says Andrew.
“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be givin’ ’em up any second now,” says Jonathan.
Warren rips the back door off the armoured car, and reaches in for the cash.
“Hey. Is this your bank?” asks Buffy. Warren looks up and sees her standing on top of the armoured car. “’Cause if not, there’s going to be a fee for that.”
Buffy jumps down at Warren. He catches her and throws her across the parking lot.
Warren walks toward Buffy as she gets back to her feet. “I was wondering when super bitch would show up.”
“You really got a problem with strong women, don’t you?” asks Buffy. She attacks Warren with a quick series of kicks and punches.
Warren absorbs everything Buffy throws at him. “Nothing I can’t handle.” He attacks Buffy. He doesn’t have anywhere near her speed or skill, but he has brute force, and seems impervious to everything she does to him. He knocks her off her feet. “You seem a little off. Is this a bad day?”
Buffy flips over Warren’s head, and kicks him in the back of his head. She picks up the armoured car door, and knocks Warren flying against the base of the stone arch over the theme park entrance. “It’s getting better.”
Warren gets back to his feet. “Is that all you got?” He notices some pebbles falling down around him, and looks up just in time to see the stone arch collapse on top of him.
Buffy sighs and turns her attention to Jonathan and Andrew. “There’s two ways this can end, and right now I’m thinking they’re both going to hurt.”
At first they look frightened, but then Andrew starts to smile. “I think you’re right.” He’s looking behind Buffy.
Warren stands up out of the rubble from the arch. His clothes are a little the worse for wear, but he’s unscathed. “Oh, what’s the matter, baby? You never fight a real man before?”
Buffy and Warren trade kicks and punches. Buffy kicks him against the back of the armoured car. His head leaves a dent in it. Warren gets back to his feet. “Wow. That almost hurt, kitten.” He attacks Buffy again.
Buffy kicks at Warren. He catches her leg, and smashes his arm down on her knee. Buffy pulls away, but she’s hurting now.
“Kill her! Kill her!” shouts Andrew from the sidelines.
Jonathan looks back and forth between Andrew, Warren, and Buffy. He is not enjoying this.
Warren walks toward Buffy. “You know who I am, Slayer?”
Buffy limps away from Warren. “You’re a murderer.”
“Well, that too. But more to the point: I’m the guy that beat you. And it’s not the muscles, baby.” Warren points to his head. “It’s the brains.”
“I’ll remember that when I knock ’em clean out of your—” Buffy is cut off by Jonathan jumping onto her back.
Warren is surprised as much as Buffy is. “Whoa, Sparky! I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“The orbs!” Jonathan whispers into Buffy’s ear. “Smash his orbs!”
Buffy shrugs Jonathan off her shoulders, and he rolls away across the ground. She turns her attention back to Warren, and kicks him in the crotch.
Jonathan grimaces. “Not those orbs,” he mutters. 2
Warren picks Buffy up and smashes her down on a bench, knocking it into splinters. He pulls his fist back to pound her. “Say good night, bitch.”
Buffy sees the leather pouch on Warren’s belt. She pulls it loose, and smashes it down on the ground. The orbs shatter, and the power flows out of Warren.
Buffy stands up. “Good night, bitch.” She gives Warren a spinning kick that knocks him half way across the parking lot. “You’re nothing but a sad little boy, Warren, but it’s time you grow up and pay for what you’ve done.” She starts to walk toward him.
Warren gets to his feet, and backs away from Buffy. He pulls off his jacket. “Get away from me. I swear to god I’m going to take you down, you piece of—” Warren has a miniature jet pack strapped to his back. He grabs the control on his belt in his hand, and takes off.
Buffy watches Warren fly off into the night, with a disbelieving expression on her face. “Aw, come on!”
“Well played, Slayer.” Andrew takes off his jacket. He’s got a jet pack too.
Jonathan looks at Andrew. “Why didn’t I get one of those?”
“This round to you,” Andrew tells Buffy, “but the game’s far from over.” He blasts off.
Andrew should have looked up before he took off. He rises about three feet into the air before he bashes his head against the roof overhang above him. He falls back to the ground, and his jet pack sputters out.
Jonathan and Andrew get out of the back of a police car in front of the Sunnydale police station. Their hands are handcuffed behind their backs. The police officers escort them inside.
“Jet packs!” mutters Jonathan. “You jerks were setting me up to take the fall!”
Andrew isn’t paying attention to Jonathan. “He left me! He flew away and left me! How could he do this to me? He promised we’d be together, but he was just using me. He never really loved…hanging out with us.”
The police officers escort Jonathan and Andrew to a bench, and sit them down on it.
“You think he’ll come back for us?” asks Andrew. “I mean, he wouldn’t just take off, would he?”
Spike pulls his motorcycle off the road just outside of town, and looks back. “Get nice and comfy, Slayer. I’ll be back. And when I do, things are going to change.” He tosses his cigarette away, and drives off into the night.
Willow and Tara get dressed in their room. Tara tells Willow not to get too used to the clothes.
Willow goes to her for a hug and a kiss. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Xander!” says Tara.
“Okay, not quite the response I was fishing for,” says Willow.
Tara nods toward the window. “No, he’s here.” She can see Xander walking toward Buffy in the back yard.
“Think they’re making up?” asks Willow.
“I hope so,” says Tara. “That’s the best part.”
Buffy is poking through the back yard bushes with a stick when Xander approaches her. He asks her what she’s doing. Buffy is looking to make sure that there aren’t any more of the evil Trio’s cameras around, but now she figures it’s just an evil Uno. Andrew and Jonathan are in jail, but Warren got away.
“You’ll find him,” says Xander. “He won’t be much good without his friends.”
Buffy smiles at Xander. “No, he won’t.”
Buffy and Xander go to sit on a bench in her yard while they talk. He isn’t sure how they got where they are. “The past few weeks, I thought I hit bottom, but, it hurt that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me about Spike. It hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” says Buffy. “I should have told you.”
“Maybe you would have if I hadn’t given you so many reasons to think I’d be an ass about it.”
Buffy thinks that they’ve all done a lot of things lately that they aren’t proud of. Xander thinks he’s got her beat.
“Want to compare?” asks Buffy.
“Not so much,” says Xander. “I don’t know what I’d do…without you and Will.”
“Let’s not find out,” says Buffy. She hugs Xander. He hugs her back.
“Oh… I love you. You know that, right?” asks Buffy
Xander notices a movement behind Buffy and looks up. “Buffy!”
Warren has just stepped around the edge of the fence into the back yard. “You think you can just do that to me? You think I’d let you get away with that?” He laughs and raises an automatic pistol. “Think again.”
Buffy pushes Xander to the ground as Warren opens fire. Warren fires three shots toward her before he turns and starts to run. He fires off a couple more wild shots backwards as he runs. His last shot goes through one of the upstairs windows.
Blood splatters across Willow’s face and blouse.
Tara looks surprised. “Your shirt—” She collapses to the floor, blood spreading from the exit wound in her chest.
Xander picks himself up off the ground. “Sweet fancy Moses, where the hell did he—” He sees Buffy lying motionless on the ground. “Oh god!”
Willow cradles Tara in her arms. “Tara? Baby? Baby, come on! Come on.” She feels at her neck for a pulse.
Xander tries to stop the flow of blood from Buffy’s chest with his hand. “Buffy!” She lies on the ground, her eyes blinking in shock. “Buffy! Buffy!”
Willow rocks Tara in her arms. “No!” She looks up, tears running down her cheeks. “No!” Willow’s eyes go black, and then fiery red. “No!”
| Who or What | Where | How |
|---|---|---|
| Vampire | Cemetery | Staked by Buffy |
| Nezzla Demon 1 | Cavern | Killed by the nerds |
| Nezzla Demon 2 | Cavern | Neck broken by Warren |
| Tara Maclay | Willow’s bedroom | Shot by Warren |