Introduction
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| Help | Him |
Buffy, Dawn and Xander help Willow get her stuff moved into her new room in Buffy’s house. Willow is going to be returning to university tomorrow, and Dawn is full of advice for how to fit in. Willow should do what everyone else does, dress like everyone else dresses, and talk like everyone else talks. “People may say something you don’t understand. Just don’t be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they’re saying.”
“You know, Dawn,” says Willow, “I’ve been to college before.”
Dawn ignores her, and keeps giving advice. “People may say something like: ‘My protein window closes in an hour.’ Just…nod and smile.” She demonstrates with a nod and a smile. “Mm-hmm. Turns out it has something to do with fitness.”
Buffy and Xander are quietly discussing the Anya situation. Xander hasn’t had much chance to talk to her recently, not since the Gnarl incident, and that talk was mostly about gouging eyes out, not how she was doing. “I’m thinking I should call her.”
“I just don’t want you to get your hopes up,” says Buffy.
Xander says he doesn’t have any hopes. He and Anya are done. “I love being single. I’m a strong, successful male who’s giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future.”
“Strong, successful males say ‘giddy?’” asks Buffy.
Xander is just worried about Anya. She seems so sad these days. Dawn thinks that Anya should just try acting like everyone else more.
“I’m not sure I get the sad vibe,” says Buffy, “but there’s definitely a vengeance vibe worth worrying about.”
“Oh, that? No, no. I don’t worry about that,” says Xander. “She was hurt, and she just turned back to what she knew when I…you know. But that’s not her anymore.”
“I hope you’re right,” says Buffy.
“Well, she turned that worm guy back before any real damage happened, right?” asks Xander. “It’ll just take some time. I really think she’s comin’ around.”
The bodies of a dozen guys litter the floor, furniture and pool table in the games room of a UCSunnydale fraternity house. They all have bloody holes ripped in their chests.
Anya sits leaning against the wall, looking dazed, and covered with blood. “What have I done?”
Sjornjost, 880 1
The girl who will become Anya bustles around in her single room house. She picks up a rabbit off a table, kisses it, and puts it down in a basket on the floor. There are several other rabbits around the house.
The door opens, and it’s filled by her very large boyfriend Olaf. “Aud! Sweet beautiful Aud! I am so hungry, I could eat a small child!” he says in Swedish. He’s carrying a battle axe, and has his pack slung over his shoulder.
Aud runs to him. “Olaf! Are you injured? You smell of blood and musk.”
“Fear not! Fear not!” Olaf hangs his pack on a hook and puts his axe on the table. “It takes more than a band of minor trolls to bring down the mighty Olaf.”
“Trolls!” says Aud.
“Oh! They were wretched creatures indeed.” says Olaf. “The mere thought of them makes me bend at the knee and flex.” He bends, and flexes.
Aud pushes Olaf toward the table. “Sweetheart, please sit down. Allow me to tend to you.”
“I’m fine. Really.” Olaf sits down at the table. “I could go for some mead though.”
“Certainly.” Aud picks up Olaf’s axe, and hangs it on the wall. She goes to pour Olaf a large mug of mead.
Olaf looks around the house, silently counting. “Is it my imagination, or do we have substantially more rabbits in this house today?”
“Oh, they breed so quickly that it’s—”
Olaf gets quickly to his feet, and starts pulling at his belt. “All this talk of breeding…it makes me want to breed!”
Aud pushes Olaf back to the table. “Honey, of course. But here—” She hands him the mug. “Drink your mead first.”
“Ah, yes. Mead.” Olaf drinks deeply.
Aud goes back to bustling around her house, straightening things up. “The rapid reproduction rate of our rabbits has given me an idea. I can give the excess out to the townspeople, exchanging them not for goods or services, but goodwill and the sense of accomplishment that stems from selflessly giving of yourself to others.”
Olaf laughs. “Sweet Aud! Your logic is insane and happenstance, like that of a troll. It is no wonder the bar matrons talk of you.”
Aud glares at Olaf. “You’ve been to the bar…”
“It’s not my fault they don’t take kindly to you.” says Olaf. “You speak your mind and are annoying. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”
Aud isn’t appeased. “Was Rannveig there?”
“Bah! I’ve told you a thousand times, I have no interest in Rannveig.” says Olaf. “Her hips are large and load-bearing, like a Baltic woman. Your hips are narrow, like a Baltic woman from a slightly more arid region.” He grabs Aud and pulls her into his lap. “You are my perfect Aud. I could never want for another.”
Aud hugs Olaf. “I am sorry. I simply love you so much I feel as though I could burst at times. I could not live without you.”
“Fear not sweet Aud,” says Olaf, “you will always be my beautiful girl.”
Sunnydale, 2002
Anya washes blood from her hands in the washroom of the fraternity house.
“I don’t trust what I see anymore,” says Spike. He’s crouching in a corner of the school basement. “Don’t know how to explain it exactly.” He looks up at Buffy, who’s sitting on a crate beside him. “Like I been seeing things. Dru used to see things, you know. She’d always be staring up at the sky watching cherubs burn or the heavens bleed or some nonsense. I used to stare at her and think she’d gone completely sack of hammers. But she’d see the sky when we were inside, and it’d make her so happy. She’d see showers. She’d see stars. Now I see her.”
“Spike,” says Buffy.
“I’m in trouble, Buffy.”
“I can help you.”
Spike looks at Buffy for a long while. “I could never ask. Not after…”
“It’s different,” says Buffy. “You’re different.”
“I could never ask.” Spike rubs the back of his neck with his hand.
“Spike, it’s me,” says Buffy. “It’s you, and it’s me, and we’ll get through this.”
“Never…”
Buffy reaches out and puts her hand on his. “We’ll get through this.”
Buffy walks around the corner in the basement and sees Spike. “Spike.” He raises his head, and looks confused. “This basement is killing you. This is the Hellmouth. There is something bad down here. Possibly everything bad.”
Spike looks at the empty crate where his other Buffy had been sitting. He starts to laugh. “Can’t hear you. Can’t hear you.”
“You have a soul?” asks Buffy. “Fine. Show me!”
“Scream ‘Montresor’ all you like, pet,” says Spike.
“Get up and get out of this basement,” says Buffy.
Spike looks up at her. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
Willow walks across campus with one of her professors from last year. “And it’s not like I’ve been gone for that long, and I’ve already done all the reading that I missed, and I can sign up for—”
“Willow, Willow, it’s okay!” says the professor. “We’ll get you caught up in no time.”
“Really?” asks Willow.
“What am I going to say: ‘No, I don’t want my best student back in my class?’” asks the professor. “Of course, I noticed that drop-off in your grades at midterms last year, and I was concerned, but then, voila, you turned it around and aced all your finals like, boom, magic.”
Willow forces a laugh. “Yeah, similar to, but—”
Her professor tells Willow to come by her office tomorrow, and they’ll get everything straightened out. Willow absently thanks her. She’s seen something else that puzzles her: Anya is coming out of the nearby fraternity house. She’s wrapped in a rain coat, and looking a little dazed.
Willow’s professor leaves, and Willow calls out to Anya. She walks toward her. Anya is surprised to see Willow, and asks why she’s there.
“I’m starting back up at school again!” says Willow. “I can’t believe how great everyone’s been! I was a little worried, but I already have books and homework, and they even said they’d give me periodic surprise quizzes just to make up for the ones that I missed, and…” Willow remembers her initial reaction to seeing Anya. “W-what— what are you doing here, walking out of the fraternity house in the middle of the day?”
“Oh, I—um…” Anya looks around. “…I have a new boyfriend now. He lives here.”
“That’s great!” says Willow.
“Yeah,” says Anya. “We just had lots and lots of sex.”
“Okay.” Willow is less pleased to hear that. “This is so great. I am so happy to see you’ve…” Anya brushes her hair back over her ear, and Willow sees a smear of blood that Anya missed on the inside of her wrist. “…moved on.”
“Yes. We’re tremendously happy together,” says Anya. “Now, um, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for something… important.” She starts to walk away.
“Oh, okay,” says Willow. “See you later.” She turns back toward the fraternity house.
Willow steps into the main entrance of the fraternity. “Hello! Is anybody—” She stops when she sees the smear of blood on the floor. She looks around and sees more blood on the furniture, and bloody hand prints on a set of doors.
Willow goes to the doors, and pushes them open. She’s horrified by the carnage in the games room.
Willow hears something behind her. The muffled sound of a girl saying “I take it back. I take it back,” over and over. She follows the sound to a closet and opens the door.
Willow sees a girl she knew from her sociology class last year, Rachel, sitting on the floor, covered in blood. She keeps saying “I take it back. I take it back,” over and over.
Willow kneels in front of Rachel. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
“I take it back,” cries Rachel.
“What? asks Willow. “What do you take back? What happened?”
“’S going to be a party,” cries Rachel. “Everyone’s going to be there. Everyone’s bringing a date. I’ll have a great time. But it was just me…and them.” Rachel struggles to talk through her tears. “He broke up with me in front of them. It was a game. It was all a game.”
“It’s okay,” says Willow. “You’re okay now.”
“They laughed and they laughed and…I cried and they laughed,” says Rachel, “and I yelled, ‘Just once…I wish you could all feel what’s it like to have your hearts ripped out.’” Willow starts to understand. “‘Just once…I wish…’” Rachel sobs. “…and then…it came.”
Willow stands up. “Okay. Come on. What came? What did this?”
“A spider,” says Rachel.
“W-where did it go?” asks Willow.
Rachel looks up at Willow. “What do you mean?”
“The spider,” says Willow. “Where is it now?”
A giant insect demon is crawling up the wall behind Willow. It has six legs, each of them about three feet long. Its slug-like body is three feet from end to end.
Rachel whimpers and cowers back into the closet. Willow turns around as the demon springs at her.
Willow flings up a hand. “Protect!” A golden bubble appears around her that the demon can’t get through. It stabs its legs at the barrier, and extends its mouth, trying to bite through, but Willow’s barrier holds.
Rachel is still whimpering on the floor. Willow turns back toward her. Her eyes have gone black. “For god’s sake, shut your whimpering mouth!” she snarls.
Willow sends a blast of power at the demon that knocks it out through a window. She drops her protection barrier, and stands for a moment watching to see if the demon is coming back, and regaining control of herself.
Willow turns back to Rachel. “I’m sorry.”
Sjornjost
“Troll!” yells one of the villagers.
“It’s the largest troll I’ve ever seen!” cries a woman.
“Run!” yells a villager. “Hide your babies and beadwork!” He joins the panicked mob running through the streets.
“Stop!” yells Olaf the troll. “Stop! It’s Olaf!”
One of the villagers stops and looks back at him. “The troll is doing an Olaf impersonation!”
“I am Olaf!”
“Hit him with fruits and various meats!” yells another villager.
Olaf bellows as he tries to ward off a hail of foodstuffs with his arms. “I am Olaf!” He turns and runs away from the mob of villagers. They chase after him with pitchforks and other weapons.
Aud stands watching the mob of villagers chase Olaf out of town. D’Hoffryn steps up beside her. “Impressive.”
Aud doesn’t even look at him. “Thank you.”
“What is that, a Woodlow transmogrific spell?” asks D’Hoffryn.
“Thornton’s hope,” says Aud.
D’Hoffryn is surprised. “Thornton’s hope! But how did you get the troll element?”
“Eelsbane,” says Aud.
“Eelsbane!” D’Hoffryn is impressed. “Brilliant. What’d he do?”
“Bar matron,” says Aud. “A load-bearing bar matron.”
“Is there any other kind?” asks D’Hoffryn.
Aud finally looks at D’Hoffryn, but she barely reacts to his appearance. A tall horned demon, looking old and wise, with a grey beard pulled together into a point by a gold ring. She turns and starts to walk away toward her house.
“I’m sorry. How rude of me,” says D’Hoffryn. Aud turns back to him. “Allow me to introduce myself. My name is D’Hoffryn.”
“I am Aud.”
“Are you?” asks D’Hoffryn, seeming to react to the English homonym for her name. “I’m afraid you don’t see your true self. You are Anyanka. I’m a patron of a family of sorts. We’re Vengeance Demons. I’m sure you’ve heard of us.”
“No,” says Aud. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, well, that’s quite—”
“No, don’t feel bad,” says Aud. “I, uh… I don’t talk to people much. I mean I talk to them, but they don’t talk to me except to say, ‘your questions are irksome,’ and, ‘perhaps you should take your furs and your literal interpretations to the other side of the river.’”
The shouting villagers come running back. Now they are being chased by Olaf. “Come here tiny man!” he yells at one of them. “You are small and toy like!”
D’Hoffryn laughs. “I get the sense that your talents are not fully appreciated here, Anyanka. We’d like you to join us.”
“Why do you keep calling me that?” asks Aud. “My name is Aud.”
“Perhaps,” says D’Hoffryn. “But Anyanka is who you are.”
“What would I have to do?” asks Aud.
“What you do best,” says D’Hoffryn. “Help wronged women punish evil men.”
Behind her in the village, Olaf pushes over a large tree. It crashes down on top of a house.
Anyanka smiles. “Vengeance.”
“But only to those who deserve it,” says D’Hoffryn.
“They all deserve it!” says Anyanka.
“That’s where I was goin’ with that, yeah” says D’Hoffryn.
Sunnydale, 2002
Buffy sits and spins on her office chair, balancing a cup of pencils on her forehead. Her busy schedule is interrupted by her phone ringing. In her haste to answer it, the cup and pencils fall to the floor.
It’s Willow on the phone. Buffy starts to ask how things went with getting back into school but Willow quickly interrupts to tell her about the spider demon.
Buffy grabs a pen, and a piece of paper to take notes, while she asks if Willow’s all right. She writes down the particulars of where Willow saw the demon as Willow tells her. Willow also tells Buffy that she can’t join in the hunt.
That’s fine with Buffy. She figures she can get Xander for backup. Then Willow tells Buffy how this thing kills.
“Ripped out the heart?” asks Buffy. “My god! Hey, did you get that physics class you wanted?”
Anya and Halfrek sit on Anya’s sofa, with a couple of teacups on the table in front of them. Anya has showered and changed into some non-blood splattered clothes.
“This is just wonderful, Anyanka!” says Halfrek. “There’s even talk of having some sort of ceremony. I can’t tell you how many times today I’ve heard, ‘Anyanka is back to her old self again.’” She notices that Anya doesn’t seem to be very happy about this. “Honey, what is it? What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” says Anya. “I just…there was just so much screaming, so much blood. I’d forgotten how much damage a Grimslaw demon could do.”
“Oh, tell me about it.” Halfrek waves her hand at Anya. “They can be feisty little guys and impossible to house train. I mean, once they start nesting, forget—” She notices that Anya is still not getting into the spirit of the occasion. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“I guess I’m just a little rusty,” says Anya. “I didn’t think it would hit me like this.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Halfrek rubs Anya’s arm. “This is perfectly normal. It’s a reflex. You’ll get over it in no time, trust me.”
“It’s just lately, with everything that’s been going on,” says Anya, “I’ve had trouble even remembering—”
Anya is interrupted by her door opening. She and Halfrek look up and see Willow. Anya stands up.
Willow glares at Halfrek. “Get out!”
Halfrek looks up at Willow. “Lemon drop, if you think I’m—”
“Get! Out!” says Willow.
Anya looks at Halfrek. “It’s okay.”
Halfrek slowly stands up. “Well, okay. But if you need anything, you holler.” She teleports away.
“Anya, you have to stop this,” says Willow.
Anya picks up the teacups and carries them into her kitchen. “Do you know what they did to her? Do you? It was a game. They were humiliating her.”
“Anya, listen to me,” says Willow. “You’re in trouble. You know it. I’m here to help you.”
Anya laughs. “You’re here to— well, that’s great, Willow. Flayed anybody lately, have you? How quickly they forget.”
“I haven’t forgotten one second of it,” says Willow.
“What do you want?” asks Anya.
“I want to help you.”
“They got what they deserved.”
“No. They—”
“I am a Vengeance Demon,” says Anya. “Do you understand that?”
“No!”
“Try!” says Anya. “They got what they deserved.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself more than she’s trying to convince Willow.
Buffy and Xander move through the woods. He’s carrying a sword, and Buffy has a battle axe. She apologises for pulling him away from work.
Xander tells Buffy it’s okay. “We’re doing vent work at the site. Anything’s better than breathing freon for eight hours. So she say what this thing is?”
“Some sort of spider demony thingy,” says Buffy. “She had to go pretty quickly. Think she had to sign up for classes or something.”
“Ah, yes,” says Xander. “There’s little that can distract the Willow when she’s on the hunt for the mighty syllabi.”
Buffy walks around a tree. “I don’t know. I think she’s a little more nervous than she was letting…” She stops when she sees a boy’s body with a bloody hole in his chest lying on the ground. “…on.”
Xander comes up beside Buffy and looks at the body with her. “How big she say this thing was?”
“She didn’t. But I can’t imagine she’d send us out if it wasn’t—” Buffy takes a closer look at the boy’s chest. “The heart’s completely ripped out. This is our guy.”
“Or a copycat spider demon.” Xander looks around, and sees some black stringy stuff hanging off a tree. “Hey, what’s this black stuff?”
“I don’t know,” says Buffy.
Xander reaches out and touches some of the strands. “Oh!” He quickly pulls his hand away. “It’s sticky!”
“Willow said it was a spider demon,” says Buffy. “Maybe it’s his webbing.
Xander is trying to shake black stuff off his hand. “This isn’t springy, high-flying fun!”
Buffy has stopped paying attention to him. She’s heard something moving overhead. “Xander?”
Xander looks up. “Is that it?”
“I can’t tell,” says Buffy. Whatever is above them is hidden by the branches. “But there is definitely something moving up there.”
“Maybe we can somehow lure it,” says Xander.
A stringy black strand shoots down out of the tree and hits Xander across the front of his jacket, and across his face.
“Xander!” Buffy pushes him away from it.
The Grimslaw demon drops out of the tree on top of Buffy while she’s distracted by Xander. It’s clawed legs rake across her back and shoulders. Buffy falls to the ground, and holds it away as its mouth extends toward her chest.
Buffy yells, and throws the demon off her. It almost instantly disappears back up into the treetops as she scrambles back to her feet.
Xander is back on his feet too. “Buffy, where’d it go?” He keeps looking up into the tree branches. “I think we need more swords.”
Buffy is concentrating on the branches overhead too. “Uh-huh.”
“We go home, pick up more swords and some sort of spidery demon protection amulet,” says Xander. “We come back, and—”
Buffy throws her axe up into the tree. A couple of seconds later it comes back down, stuck in the quivering body of the Grimslaw demon.
“Or…” says Xander.
Buffy and Xander come in the front door of her house. She has bloody gouges from the demon’s claws across her back and shoulders.
Buffy puts her axe down on the table by the door. “I’m more concerned with where that thing came from. If there are more of those spider demons running around, we need to know about it.” She moves into the living room. “We should hit the research, find out if—” Buffy stops when she sees Willow sitting in a chair, and the expression on her face.
“I know where it came from,” says Willow.
Buffy and Xander sit on the sofa facing Willow. She has told them what she knows.
“How many?” asks Buffy.
Willow isn’t sure. “Ten, twelve.”
“When were you planning on telling us?” asks Xander.
“I’m telling you now,” says Willow.
“Great. Thank you,” says Xander. “Willow, it’s Anya. How could you let us— how could you not have told us?”
“Xander,” says Buffy.
“How could you not have told me?” asks Xander.
“Xander. It’s okay,” says Buffy. “She didn’t tell us for a reason.” Buffy looks back and forth between Willow and Xander. “She didn’t tell us because she knows what I have to do.
“I have to kill Anya.”
St. Petersburg, 1905
Elegantly dressed bodies litter the dining room of an upper class party. Men are lying with their faces in their entrees, and other elegant bodies are lying on the floor.
Anyanka and Halfrek sit at the end of the table, sipping champagne. They are dressed to match the bodies, everything impeccable, except for the blood on their gloves. Fires can be seen burning through the picture window behind them. Halfrek is in awe of Anyanka.
Anyanka waves off the flattery. “I grant wishes. It’s all inside the girl. I just bring it out.”
Halfrek looks around at all the bodies. “Yes. I’m sure this is what she had in mind.”
“Well, I don’t know about her mind, but it was in her heart.” Anyanka smiles. “Besides, Russia was ready to explode. All we did is just give it a little push.”
Halfrek wonders what to do with the rest of their evening. She wants to go see the razing of the Winter Palace. Anyanka wants to go to Madame Dubasov’s. “No better spot for vengeance than a brothel.”
“It’s always work, work, work with you,” says Halfrek.
A man with his clothes on fire comes running into the room. He stumbles around screaming, unnoticed by Anyanka and Halfrek.
“Of course,” says Anyanka. “What else is there?”
The burning man runs out again.
“What else is there?” asks Halfrek. “Why, the whole world for one. Darling, take a look around. There’s a lot to see. There’s a revolution going on outside that you are somewhat responsible for. Aren’t you the teeniest bit interested?”
“Well, what is there to be interested in?” asks Anyanka. “The worker will overthrow absolutism and lead the proletariat to a victorious communist revolution, resulting in socio-economic paradise on earth. It’s common sense, really. I have better things to worry about.”
“But, Anyanka, there’s a whole world out there.”
“Yes, filled with wronged women who need my help,” says Anyanka.
“Oh, you’re talking about work.”
“I’m talking about life,” says Anyanka. “Vengeance is what I do, Halfrek. I don’t need anything else. Vengeance is what I am.”
“She’s not the Anya that you knew, Xander,” says Buffy. “She’s a demon.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to kill her!”
“Don’t act like this is easy for me. You know it’s not.”
“There are other options!” says Xander.
“I’ve considered them,” says Buffy.
“When?” asks Xander. “Just now? Took you all of ten seconds to decide to kill one of your best friends?”
“The thought that it might come to this has occurred to me before,” says Buffy. “It’s occurred to you, too.”
“But we can change what she did. Fix it.” Xander looks at Willow. “These are mystical deaths, right? There has to be something.”
“I don’t have anywhere near that kind of power,” says Willow. “I didn’t have that kind of power when— and I don’t think I trust the power I do have.”
“It’s okay,” says Buffy. “Xander, I know this is hard for you to hear, but it’s what I have to do.”
“Hard for me to hear?” asks Xander. “Buffy, you want to kill Anya!”
“I don’t want to,” says Buffy.
“Then don’t!” says Xander. “This isn’t new ground for us. When our friends go all crazy and start killing people, we help them!”
“Sitting right here!” says Willow.
“I’m sorry,” says Xander, “but it’s true.”
“It’s different,” says Buffy.
“Because you don’t care about her the same way I do!” says Xander. “Buffy, I still love her.”
“I know,” says Buffy. “And that’s why you can’t see this for what it really is. Willow was different. She’s a human. Anya’s a demon!”
“And you’re the Slayer,” says Xander. “I see now how it’s all very simple.”
“It is never simple,” says Buffy.
“No, of course not.” Xander gets up off the sofa. “You know, if there’s a mass-murdering demon that you’re, oh, say, boning, then it’s all gray area.”
“Spike was harmless. He was helping!”
“He had no choice.”
“And Anya did,” says Buffy. “She chose to become a demon. Twice!”
“You have no idea what she’s going through,” says Xander.
Buffy gets up and faces Xander. “I don’t care what she’s going through!”
“Oh, of course not!” says Xander. “You think we haven’t all seen this before? The part where you just cut us all out? Just step away from everything human and act like you’re the law? If you knew what I felt—”
“I killed Angel!” says Buffy. “Do you even remember that? I would have given up everything I had to be with— I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life, and I put a sword through his heart because I had to.”
“And that all worked out okay,” says Willow.
“Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you. Do you remember giving me Willow’s message? ‘Kick his ass.’”
“I never said that!” says Willow.
“This is different,” says Xander.
“It is always different!” says Buffy. “It’s always complicated, and at some point, someone has to draw the line, and that is always going to be me! You get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end, the Slayer is always cut off. There’s no mystical guidebook, no all-knowing council. Human rules don’t apply! There’s only me. I am the law.”
“There has to be another way,” says Xander.
“Then please find it,” says Buffy.
Xander looks at Buffy and Willow for a moment, and then he grabs his jacket and leaves the house. Buffy goes to her weapons trunk and pulls out a sword. She pauses on her way to the door and looks at Willow.
Willow is still sitting in her chair. “I can’t. I’m—I’m sorry.”
Buffy grabs her jacket and leaves.
Willow goes to her room. She starts rummaging through her drawers. She finds D’Hoffryn’s talisman.
Willow moves into the bathroom. She sprinkles a circle of red sand onto the floor.
“Beatum sit in nomine D’Hoffrynis.
Fiat hoc spatium porta ad mundum Arashmaharris.” 2
Lightning flashes, and D’Hoffryn materializes in the bathroom with his back to Willow. He raises his hands up into the air, and slowly starts to turn around. “Behold D’Hoffryn, Lord of Arashmaharr. He that turns the air to blood and rains—” He stops when he sees Willow and lowers his hands. “Miss Rosenberg. How lovely to see you again. Have you done something with your hair?”
“Hello, D’Hoffryn,” says Willow.
“I figured I’d be hearing from you soon,” says D’Hoffryn. “The flaying of Warren Mears? Oh, truly inspired. That was water cooler vengeance. Lloyd has a sketch of it on his wall.”
“That’s not me anymore,” says Willow.
“Is that right?” asks D’Hoffryn. “So I didn’t feel your presence earlier today? I didn’t feel a bit of the old you?”
“We need to talk about Anya,” says Willow.
D’Hoffryn sighs and shakes his head. “Very well. Let’s talk about Anyanka.”
Anya reaches out, and touches a blood smear on the wall of the fraternity house.
“I thought I might find you here,” says Xander. “Have you forced yourself to look at the bodies yet?”
Anya turns toward the Xander in the doorway. “What do you want?”
“I want to help you.”
Anya turns and walks away from Xander. “Everyone is so considerate today. I should have slaughtered people weeks ago.”
“I’m sorry,” says Xander. “I’m sorry for everything I did to you, everything I put you through.”
Anya turns back to him. “Thank you! All better! Thank goodness you got here in time!”
Xander comes down the steps toward Anya. “You don’t understand. This isn’t an intervention. Buffy’s coming to kill you.”
“She’s coming to try.”
“Did everybody have their crazy flakes today?” asks Xander. “You guys are friends. How can you talk like this?”
“I have a job to do, and so does Buffy. Xander, you’ve always seen what you wanted to.” Anya stops looking directly at Xander, she’s looking over his shoulder now. “But she knew sooner or later it would come to this.”
Xander turns around and sees Buffy standing in the door, with her sword in hand. “Buffy, get out of here.”
“Get out of my way, Xander,” says Buffy.
“No.”
“Get out of her way, Xander,” says Anya. He looks back at her, and sees she’s changed into her demonic form. Anya knocks Xander across the room with a backhanded punch. He doesn’t get up.
Buffy raises the sword and charges at Anya. Anya knocks her flying across the room. Buffy gets back to her feet.
“This is getting to be a pattern with you, Buffy,” says Anya. “Are there any friends of yours left you haven’t tried to kill?”
Buffy raises her sword again, and charges at Anya. Anya dodges Buffy’s attack, and throws her against the wall.
“Come on, Buffy,” says Anya. “Don’t you have a clever retort for me?”
Buffy charges at Anya again, and gets tossed over a chair. She’s back on her feet quickly and attacks again. She kicks Anya in the head and knocks her back. Buffy follows up her advantage, but Anya throws Buffy against the wall again.
Buffy slumps to the floor. She’s slow getting up this time. She steps toward Anya. “Anya, I’m sorry.”
“You’re apologising to me?” asks Anya. “What fight are you watching? Or is this like one of your little pop culture references I don’t get because…” Anya starts to charge at Buffy. “…I’m a Vengeance—”
Buffy sidesteps, and gives Anya a push, and this time it’s Anya who slams into the wall. Buffy spins, and drives her sword through Anya’s chest.
Sunnydale, 2001
Xander lies in his armchair, half asleep. “Uhh… I just want…happy…ending,” he mutters.3
Anya is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. “Honey?” She lowers it into her lap. “Honey?”
Xander starts awake. “What? I’m awake. I’m okay.”
Anya puts down her magazine, and gets up off the sofa. “Honey, was that weird? That thing earlier with the singing and the coconuts?”
“What?” Xander still isn’t really awake. “No. It’s fine.”
Anya goes to the open balcony door. She can hear their neighbours singing.
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David Fury Oh, no! |
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David Fury Mustard on my shirt! My favourite dress shirt! |
Marti Noxon Mustard, I’ll never get it out! Dry clean it! |
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David How could you serve… David and Marti …Mustard! |
Anya closes the door, shutting out the sound of the neighbours. She looks back toward Xander. “Are you still hungry? Because I’d be—” She sees that Xander has gone to sleep again.
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Anya Mr. Xander Harris, That’s what he is to the world outside. That’s the name he carries with pride. I’m just lately Anya, Not very much to the world, I know. All these years with nothing to show. |
Anya picks up Xander’s hard hat and lunch box from beside his chair, and puts them onto the table. She goes back to Xander, and takes off his work boots. |
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I’ve boned a troll, I’ve wreaked some wrath! But on the whole, I’ve had no path! I like to bowl, I’m good with math! But who am I? Now I reply that… |
Anya spins away to put Xander’s boots in the closet. |
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I’m the Missis, I will be his Missis, Mrs. Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins Harris. |
Anya holds out her hand and looks at her engagement ring as she sings. |
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What’s the point of loving? (I mean, except for the sweaty part.) What’s the point of losing your heart? Maybe if you’re lucky Being a pair makes you twice as tall. Maybe you’re not losing at all. |
Anya moves into the bedroom, and straightens out the bed. She goes to the chest of drawers and pulls out a striped blanket. |
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No need to cover up my heart. Plus see above, re: sweaty part. So maybe love is pretty smart. Then so am I, I found my guy. |
Anya puts the blanket over Xander, sleeping blissfully unaware of Anya singing and dancing around him. |
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And I’ll be Missis, I will be his Missis, Mrs. Anya Lame-ass Made-up-maiden-name Harris. |
Anya pushes Xander’s chair out into the middle of the room and it starts to spin. She sits on top of him as he spins. |
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We’ll never part, Not if we can. And if we start, Then here’s my plan. I’ll show him what bliss is, Welcome him with kisses. ’Cause this is a Missis who misses her man. |
Anya picks up some dirty plates off the table and carries them into the kitchen. She puts them into the sink. She picks up a cleaning cloth, and wipes down the counter top. |
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He’s my Xander and he’s awfully swell. It makes financial sense as well. Although he can b— I’ll never tell. Just stand aside Here comes the bride. |
Anya returns to the living room, and looks at the sleeping Xander. Anya goes out onto their balcony, and transforms into her wedding dress. |
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I’ll be Missis. I will be his Missis. I will be— |
Xander struggles to sit up. He sees Anya, back in her human form with a trickle of blood running from the corner of her mouth, pinned to the wall by Buffy’s sword. “Anya!”
Anya gasps. Her eyes open, and she lifts her head. “Oh…I’d forgotten how much swords through the chest hurt.” She looks at Buffy, who is standing waiting. Anya takes hold of the sword, and pulls it out of her chest. “Aah!” Anya raises the sword in her hand. “You know better than that, Buffy. It takes a lot more to kill a Vengeance Demon.”
“I’m just getting started,” says Buffy.
Anya attacks Buffy with the sword, but she stays in her human form this time. Buffy dodges Anya’s attacks easily.
Buffy kicks a footstool against Anya’s knees. She staggers back. Buffy charges and kicks Anya in the head. She falls to the floor and drops the sword.
Buffy scoops up the sword while Anya lies motionless on the floor. She raises the sword to plunge it into Anya again.
Xander tackles Buffy, and knocks her away from Anya.
Anya springs back to her feet. “Stop trying to save me, Xander!”
Xander and Buffy get back to their feet. Xander tries to hold Buffy back as she moves toward Anya again.
There’s a flash of lightning. Buffy, Xander and Anya are all knocked off their feet by D’Hoffryn appearing in the middle of the room.
D’Hoffryn looks around at Buffy, Xander and Anya “Oh, please, don’t mind me. Continue with whatever it was you were doing.” He goes and looks through the door into the game room. “Ohh. Breathtaking. It’s like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog.”
Buffy raises her sword, and steps toward D’Hoffryn.
“Easy now.” D’Hoffryn raises a finger toward Buffy. “I’d be gone before you could swing.” He looks at the bloody hole in the front of Anya’s blouse. “Isn’t that just like a Slayer? Solving all her problems by sticking things with sharp objects.”
D’Hoffryn turns back to Buffy and Xander. “I talked to your friend Miss Rosenberg. She’s a firebrand. I have high hopes for her.”
“Stay away from Willow!” says Xander.
“Oh, he’s gallant, isn’t he?” D’Hoffryn asks Anya. “I understand what you saw in him.” He turns his attention back to Buffy and Xander. “Miss Rosenberg seems to think Anyanka would be better suited outside the vengeance fold. I think we already know what Lady ‘Hacks-away’…” He makes air quotes. “…wants, and the young man, well, he sees with the eyeballs of love. But I’m not sure if anyone’s bothered to find out what Anyanka herself really wants.”
“Her name is Anya,” says Xander.
“Actually—funny historical sidebar—” says D’Hoffryn, “Her original name was—”
“I want to take it back.” whispers Anya.
D’Hoffryn turns back to Anya. “I’m sorry. What was that?”
“I want to take it back,” says Anya. “I want to undo what I did.”
D’Hoffryn considers what Anya has said. “You want to take it back.” He looks toward the game room. “Must be twelve bodies in there. Such a thing not easily done…but not impossible.”
D’Hoffryn looks down at Anya. “You’re a big girl, Anyanka. You understand how this works. The proverbial scales must balance. In order to restore the lives of the victims, the fates require a sacrifice: the life and soul of a Vengeance Demon.”
“Do it,” says Anya.
“Wait!” yells Xander.
“Stay out of this, Xander,” says Anya.
“Okay. All right. That seems smart.” Xander seems to calm down. “He just said you have to die! Perhaps there’s some sort of alternate price.”
“Xander. You can’t help me,” says Anya. “I’m not even sure there’s a me to help.” She looks up at D’Hoffryn. “I understand the price. Do it!”
“You’re sure?” asks D’Hoffryn. “This is your wish?”
“This is my wish,” says Anya. “Undo what I did.”
“Very well.” D’Hoffryn claps his hands. There’s a flash of light.
“No!” yells Xander.
Everyone looks around. Anya is still there, standing beside D’Hoffryn, but there’s someone new in the room.
Halfrek looks around, and smiles when she sees her friend. “Anya!”
Anya realizes what D’Hoffryn is going to do. “Hallie!”
Halfrek screams as she’s consumed by flames.
D’Hoffryn turns back to Anya, his air of detached urbanity is gone. “Who did you think you were dealing with?” he snarls at her. “Did you think it would be that easy to get away?”
“Why?” asks Anya.
“Why?” asks D’Hoffryn. “Because you wished it!”
“But she was yours!” says Anya.
“The way you were mine?” asks D’Hoffryn. “Haven’t I taught you anything, Anya? Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain!”
Xander can stand by and watch no longer. He starts toward D’Hoffryn. Buffy grabs him.
“Hold him back, Slayer,” says D’Hoffryn. “Wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt.” He turns back to Anya. “I’ve got plenty of girls. There will always be Vengeance Demons, but now you, Anya, you’re out! Congratulations. Your wish is granted!”
“You should have killed me.” whispers Anya.
D’Hoffryn chuckles. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. ‘From beneath you, it devours.’” He winks at Anya. “Be patient. All good things in time.” He teleports away.
Anya stands silently for a moment, looking at Buffy and Xander, and then she slowly walks out the door.
Buffy tells Xander to go after Anya. She can hear movement coming from the game room. “I’ll check on the boys.”
Anya slowly walks away from the fraternity house.
Xander comes out the door behind her. “Anya, wait.”
Anya stops, tears running down her cheeks. “Xander, please just go away.”
“Whatever’s between us, it doesn’t matter,” says Xander. “You shouldn’t be alone in this.”
Anya turns back toward him. “Yes, I should. My whole life…I’ve just clung to whatever came along.”
“Well, speaking as a clingee,” Xander shrugs, “I kind of didn’t mind.”
“Thanks…for everything,” says Anya.
Xander nods, and stands for a moment. He starts walking toward Anya, but keeps going down the walk past her out to the street.
“Xander?” He stops and turns back to her. “What if I’m really nobody?”
“Don’t be a dope,” says Xander.
Anya smiles weakly. “I’m a dope.”
“Sometimes.”
“That’s a start,” says Anya.
Xander turns again, and walks out to the street. He turns left and slowly walks away into the night. Anya follows him down the walk. She turns right.
| Who or What | Where | How |
|---|---|---|
| Grimslaw demon | The woods | Axed by Buffy |
| Halfrek | Fraternity house | Incinerated by D’Hoffryn |