Introduction
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| Reptile Boy | Lie To Me |
Buffy slams down on top of a pumpkin in Pop’s Pumpkin Patch, crushing it under her back. It’s two nights before Halloween. The vampire who threw her steps toward her. Buffy grabs a gourd and throws it at the vampire, hitting it in the face. She follows it up with a pumpkin. The vampire staggers back and Buffy flips back to her feet, reaches into her jacket and pulls out a stake. She throws it at the vampire. The vampire grabs a scarecrow and pulls it in front of him to block the stake.
The vampire tosses the scarecrow aside and attacks Buffy again. She ducks under its kick, and comes back with a quick series of punches and kicks of her own. She doesn’t notice that there’s a second vampire hiding in the shadows with a video camera. It’s taping the entire fight.
Buffy kicks the vampire to the ground, dives over top of it, rolls to her feet and pulls Pop’s sign out of the ground. The vampire gets to its feet behind her. Buffy uses the sign to sweep the vampire’s legs out from under it, and drives the signpost through the vampire’s chest. The vampire explodes into dust.
Buffy leaves the sign stuck in the ground, and heads off. The vampire with the video camera fades back into the shadows and disappears.
Angel is joined by Cordelia at a table in the Bronze. He tells her that he’s waiting for Buffy. She is late for their coffee date. Cordy’s date Devon seems to have stood her up too. Cordy decides that Devon’s loss is Angel’s gain. She starts to entertain him with stories about how flaky Devon is.
Buffy arrives and sees Angel laughing at something Cordelia has said. She turns to leave again. Angel spots her. He instantly forgets about Cordy and runs across the room to catch Buffy before she goes.
“Hi!,” says Buffy, “I’m, um…”
“Late,” says Angel.
“Rough day at the office.”
Angel can see that. He reaches out and pulls a piece of straw out of her hair.
“Hey, it’s a look,” says Buffy. “A seasonal look.”
Cordelia gets up from the table and wanders over. “Buffy. Love the hair. It just screams street urchin.” She continues on toward the bar.
Buffy thinks she has to go home and put a bag over her head, but Angel tells her she looks fine.
“You’re sweet,” says Buffy. “A terrible liar, but sweet.”
“I thought we had…”
“A date,” says Buffy. “So did I. But who am I kidding? Dates are things normal girls have. Girls who have time to think about nail polish and facials. You know what I think about? Ambush tactics. Beheading. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of.” She turns and leaves the Bronze.
Cordelia comes back carrying a couple of cups. She offers one to Angel. “Cappuccino?”
Next day at school Principal Snyder is drafting students to take part in the ‘volunteer’ Halloween safety program. Buffy asks Xander what the deal is.
“A bunch of little kids need people to take them trick-or-treating,” explains Xander. “Sign up and get your own pack of sugar-hyped little runts for the night.”
“Yikes,” says Buffy. “I’ll stick to vampires.”
Snyder places his hand on Buffy’s shoulder and she spins around in surprise.
“Miss Summers. Just the juvenile delinquent I’ve been looking for. Halloween must be a big night for you. Tossing eggs, keying cars, bobbing for apples, one pathetic cry for help after another. Well, not this year, Missy.” Snyder leads her over to the sign up table.
Buffy tries to get out if it by claiming that she has recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and can’t hold a flashlight, but Snyder isn’t buying it. He hands her the clipboard with the sign up sheet and a pen. He also has pens for Xander and Willow.
Buffy, Willow and Xander enter the lounge, complaining about being drafted. They have to get dressed up and everything. Costumes are mandatory. Buffy is the most disappointed. The one night a year things are supposed to be quiet for her, and now this comes up.
“Halloween quiet?” asks Xander. “I figured it’d be a big old vamp scare-apalooza.”
“Not according to Giles,” says Buffy. “He swears that tomorrow night is, like, dead for the undead. They stay in.” She and Willow take seats at a vacant table.
“Those wacky vampires! That’s why I love ’em! They just keep you guessing!” Xander leaves his bag on the table and heads over to the softdrink machine. He feeds it his money and hits the button for a Dr. Pepper. Nothing happens. He tries the Coke button but still gets nothing. He bangs on the side of the machine.
Larry—a member of Sunnydale High’s football team—comes over and grabs Xander’s shoulder. Xander wonders what he wants.
“You and Buffy, you’re just friends, right?” asks Larry. “She’s not your girlfriend?”
“Alas, no,” says Xander.
“Do you think she’d go out with me?” asks Larry.
Xander pretends to consider that for a bit. “Well, Lar, that’s a tough question to— No. Not a chance.”
“Why not?” asks Larry. “I heard some guys say she was fast.”
“That’s my friend that you’re talking about!”
“Oh, yeah? Well, what’re you going to do about it?” asks Larry.
“I’m going to do what any man would do about it.” Xander grabs Larry by the shirt. “Something damn manly.”
Larry knocks Xander’s hands away, grabs him by the shirt and raises up his hand, balled in a fist, ready to pound him. Buffy grabs Larry’s arm, pulls him away from Xander, and slams him into the softdrink machine. A Dr. Pepper rolls down into the slot.
“Get gone.” Buffy shoves Larry away. She grabs the drink for herself.
“Do you know what you just did?” asks Xander.
“Saved a dollar?” asks Buffy.
“Larry was about to pummel me!”
“Oh, that? Forget about it!” says Buffy.
“Oh, I’ll forget about it. In maybe fifteen, twenty years when my rep for being a sissy man finally fades! A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life. Oh, thanks! Thanks a lot for your help.” Xander grabs his bag off the table and walks off.
Buffy sits down with Willow again. “I think I just violated the guy code big time.”
Willow wants to know how Buffy’s date with Angel went last night, and Buffy tells her it misfired after she had an unscheduled run in with a vampire, and showed up late looking trashed. Angel wasn’t mad though, something Buffy attributes to the way Cordelia was drooling over him.
“Oh, Buffy. Angel would never fall for her act.”
“You mean that ‘actually showing up, wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene’ act?” asks Buffy.
“You know what I mean. She’s not his type.”
Buffy isn’t so sure. They don’t really know much about Angel. Maybe Cordy is his type. Willow thinks it’s too bad they can’t get a look in the Watcher diaries to read up on Angel.
“Yeah. It’s too bad,” says Buffy. “That stuff is private.”
“Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files,” says Willow.
“Most importantly,” says Buffy, “it would be wrong.”
Buffy and Willow peek through the windows in the library doors. The coast appears to be clear, so Buffy quietly enters the library. She looks around some more, and sees no sign of Giles. She heads for his office.
Giles steps out of the book cage carrying some books which he adds to a pile on the table. He is glad to see Buffy. Since he isn’t expecting any trouble tomorrow night he thinks it might be a good opportunity for some extra training.
“You’re beginning to scare me, Giles,” says Buffy. “You need to have some fun.” She waves for Willow to come in while Giles sorts through his pile of books on the table, his back to the door. Willow doesn’t want to, and Buffy waves again more insistently. Giles glances toward her, and Buffy transforms her wave into brushing at her hair. Willow slowly enters the library, moving quietly.
Buffy tells Giles that she thinks he should get out more. Maybe go to a movie or something. Giles tries to tell her that he has many relaxing hobbies. He enjoys cross referencing.
“Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out?” Buffy grabs the top book off Giles’ stack and walks around the table so that Giles has to turn his back to his office door to look at her. “So! How come Halloween is such a big yawner?” She flips through the book. “I mean, do the demons just hate how commercial it’s become?”
“Um, it’s interesting… Not, I suspect, to you. What is it you’re after?” Giles takes the book away from her and puts it back in his pile.
“Of course, it’s of interest to me!” says Buffy. “I’m the Slayer. I need to know these things. You can’t keep me in the dark any longer.”
Willow has reached the door to Giles’ office when he picks up the stack of books off the table and starts to turn toward it himself.
“Look at me when I talk to you!” says Buffy, and Willow freezes. Giles turns back toward Buffy, getting a little exasperated with whatever it is she is up to.
“Miss Calendar said you were a babe,” says Buffy, which causes Willow to roll her eyes behind Giles’ back. She opens the office door and goes inside.
“She said what?” asks Giles.
“Well,” says Buffy. “She said that you were a…hunk of burning…something or other. So, what to you think of that?”
Giles doesn’t know what he thinks of that. “A burning hunk of what?”
“Look,” says Buffy. “You know how disgusting it is for me to even contemplate you grownups having smoochies, but I think you should go for it.” Willow comes out of Giles’ office carrying a book.
“Buffy, I appreciate your interest,” says Giles, “but…”
“But I’ve overstepped my bounds,” says Buffy as Willow quickly heads for the exit. “It’s none of my business, you know. What was I thinking? My god! Shame, shame. I got to go.” She follows Willow out.
“A babe?” Giles asks himself. “I can live with that.”
Buffy and Willow take the diary to the washroom to check it out. It contains a drawing of a beautiful woman dated 1775. “Angel was eighteen,” says Willow. “And still human.”
“So that’s the kind of girl he hung around?” asks Buffy. “She’s pretty…coifed.”
Willow thinks she looks like some sort of noble woman, so being beautiful was sort of her job.
“And clearly this girl was a workaholic,” says Buffy. “I’ll never be like this.”
Willow tries telling Buffy that the girl in the picture isn’t that pretty. Her waist is way too tiny, which doesn’t make Buffy feel any better.
“Must’ve been wonderful,” says Buffy. “Put on some fantabulous gown and go to a ball like a princess, and have horses and servants, and yet more gowns.”
“Yeah,” says Willow, “Still, I think I prefer being able to vote. Or I will when I can.”
Cordelia comes in to touch up her makeup. She tells Buffy that she did her best to comfort Angel after Buffy left the previous night. She wonders why she never sees him around much.
“Not during the day anyway,” says Willow.
“Oh, please,” says Cordy. “Don’t tell me he still lives at home. Like, he has to wait for his dad to get back before he can take the car?”
“Cordelia, I think his parents have been dead for a couple of hundred years,” says Buffy.
“Oh, good,” says Cordy. “I mean…” What Buffy said penetrates. “What?”
“Angel’s a vampire,” says Buffy. “I thought you knew.”
“Oh, he’s a vampire.” Cordelia clearly doesn’t believe it. “Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a Care Bear with fangs?”
“It’s true,” says Willow.
“You know what I think?” asks Cordelia. “I just think you’re trying to scare me off ’cause you’re afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I’m the Slayer.”
Buffy and her friends go shopping at Ethan’s Costume Shop. Willow picks out a ghost costume for herself.
Buffy thinks that Willow should go for something a little sexier. “It’s just…you’re never going to get noticed if you keep hiding. You’re missing the whole point of Halloween.”
“Free candy?” asks Willow.
“It’s come as you aren’t night,” says Buffy. “The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions.”
“Oh, I don’t get wild,” says Willow. “Wild on me equals spaz.”
Willow uses Xander’s arrival to deflect the conversation somewhere else. She asks him what he got.
Xander pulls a plastic gun out of his shopping bag. Buffy thinks it’s a little skimpy for a costume. Xander tells her that he has some army surplus fatigues at home. “Call me the two dollar costume king, baby!”
Buffy apologises to Xander about what happened that morning, but Xander doesn’t want to be reminded of it. He’s trying to repress that memory. He turns away toward Willow.
“Okay, then I promise, from now on I’ll let you get pummeled.” Buffy rests her chin on Xander’s shoulder and smiles coyly at him.
Xander gives in. “Thank you.” He turns to face Buffy. “Okay, y’know, actually I think I could’ve ta…” Buffy has stopped paying any attention to him. She’s spotted something across the shop, and walks toward it. “Hello!” Xander calls after her. “That was our touching reconciliation moment there.”
Buffy stops at a beautiful red gown. It is just like the one the lady in the picture was wearing. “I’m sorry, it’s just…look at this.”
“It’s amazing,” says Willow.
“Too bulky,” says Xander. “I prefer my women in spandex.”
Ethan Rayne—the shop owner—comes out of the back and sees Buffy eying the gown. He is a tall, lean man, about forty years old with dark hair. He lifts the gown off the rack and holds it in front of her before a mirror. He speaks with an English accent. “My. Meet the hidden princess. I think we found a match. Don’t you?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says Buffy. “There’s no way I could ever afford this.”
“Oh, nonsense,” says Ethan. “I feel quite moved to make you a deal you cannot refuse.”
Buffy smiles and holds the dress in front of her, admiring it in the mirror.
Spike watches the video tape of Buffy’s fight over and over on a cluster of TV sets that he has suspended from the factory ceiling. He is impressed by what he sees. “She’s tricky!” he tells the vamp with the remote control. “Baby likes to play.” He watches Buffy stake the vampire with the sign again. “You see that? The way she stakes him with that thing? That’s what’s called resourceful. Rewind it again.”
Drusilla enters the room, carrying her doll Miss Edith. It is time for Miss Edith’s tea. Spike invites her to come to him.
“Do you love my insides?” asks Dru. “The parts you can’t see?”
“Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet,” says Spike. “That’s why I’ve got to study this Slayer. Once I know her I can kill her. And once I kill her you can have your run of Sunnyhell. Get strong again.”
“Don’t worry,” says Dru. “Everything’s switching. Outside to inside. It makes her weak.” she whispers.
“Really?” asks Spike. “Did my pet have a vision?”
“Do you know what I miss?” asks Dru. “Leaches.”
Spike tries to draw Dru back on topic. “Come on, talk to Daddy. This thing that makes the Slayer weak? When is it?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow’s Halloween. Nothing happens on Halloween.”
“Someone’s come to change it all.” Dru listens to Miss Edith. “Someone new.”
Ethan kneels before a bust, surrounded by burning candles in the back of his costume shop. The bust has two faces. On one side it’s female, on the other male. He presses the palms of his hands together. When he takes them apart they’re bleeding.
|
“The world that denies thee, thou inhabit. |
Ethan smears blood from his palm on one eyelid. |
Buffy puts the final touches on her costume in her room. She has added a dark wig to her gown. She’s planning to meet with Angel back at her house after she’s done with escorting the kids for the night. Her mother is going to be out. She expects him to be impressed. “Call it a blast from his past,” she tells Willow. “I’ll show him I can coif with the best of ’em.”
Willow is getting changed in the bathroom across the hall from Buffy’s room. Buffy tells her to come out. She can’t hide in there all night.
“Okay,” says Willow, “but promise you won’t laugh?”
“I promise,” says Buffy.
Willow steps out of the bathroom. She is not wearing her ghost costume. She has on a short black leather mini-skirt which is slit right up to her hip, boots, and a midriff baring halter top. Her hair is pulled up, and she is wearing much more makeup than usual.
“Wow!” says Buffy. “You’re a dish.”
Willow really isn’t comfortable dressed this way, and she grabs her ghost shroud and holds it in front of her. “But this just isn’t me.”
Buffy takes the shroud away. Willow tries to cover herself with her arms. “That’s the point.” Buffy pushes Willow in front of her mirror so she can see herself. “Look, Halloween is the night that not you is you, but not you. Y’know?”
The doorbell rings, and Buffy goes to answer it. “I can’t wait for the boys to go non-verbal when they see you,” she says on the way out of her room. After Buffy is gone Willow goes back to trying to cover herself up with her arms.
Buffy opens the front door to admit Xander. She stands behind it so he doesn’t get a good look at her right away. Xander begins saluting with his plastic gun. “Private Harris reporting for—” He sees her. “Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!”
Buffy curtsies to him. “Thank you, kind sir, but wait till you see…” Buffy looks up the stairs and sees Willow coming down them. She’s wearing her ghost’s shroud over her other costume. “…Casper.”
Buffy, Willow and Xander go to the school to pick up their groups of children. Snyder leads a group toward Buffy. “This is your group Summers. No need to speak to them. The last thing they need is your influence. Just bring them back in one piece and I won’t expel you.”
Snyder starts to go as Buffy leans down to say “Hi,” to the kids. He looks back at her. “Ah, ah!”
Xander runs into Larry in the hallway. Larry is dressed in a pirate costume. “Where’s your bodyguard, Harris?” he asks. “Curling her hair?” He laughs and walks away. Xander takes aim at Larry’s back with his plastic gun.
Oz—sans costume—inspects his guitar at his locker before putting it back in its case. Cordy finds him there. She’s dressed in a cat costume made up of a spotted full body stocking, and cat ears and whiskers. She asks Oz if the band is playing tonight, and he tells her they are going to be at the Shelter Club.
“Is Mr. I’m-the-lead-singer-I’m-so-great-I-don’t-have-to-show-up-for-my-date-or-even-call going to be there?”
“Yeah,” says Oz. “Y’know, he’s just going by ‘Devon’ now.”
“Well, you can tell him that I don’t care,” says Cordy. “And that I didn’t even mention it. And that I didn’t even see you. So that’s just fine.”
“So, what do I tell him?” asks Oz.
“Nothing!” says Cordy. “Geez! Get with the program.” She stalks away.
“Why can’t I meet a nice girl like that?” Oz asks himself. He turns around and runs into Willow in her ghost costume. “Oh, I’m sorry!”
“Sorry,” says Willow.
The each say “Sorry” a few more times, and then leave in opposite directions.
Xander has his group of children lined up before him for inspection, and a pre trick-or-treat briefing: “Okay, on sleazing extra candy, tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double bagger. You can also try the old ‘you missed me’ routine, but it’s risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?” The kids all nod. “Okay, troops.” He turns to face down the hall. “Let’s move out.” The kids all do a right face, and march away with him.
Buffy waits at the gate for her group of children to return from a house. She bends down and asks to see what Mrs. Davis gave them. The kids all hold out tooth brushes.
“She must be stopped!” says Buffy.
It’s nearly time for Buffy to return the kids to the school. She figures they have time for one more house.
Ethan kneels before his two faced statue and begins his incantation. “Janus, evoco vestram animam. Exaudi meam causam. Carpe noctem pro consilio vestro. Veni, appare et nobis monstra quod est infinita potestas.” 1
Willow leads her group of children up onto the porch of a house. They ring the doorbell. “Trick-or-treat!” they call out as a little old lady answers the door. She thinks the kids all look adorable.
Ethan lifts the bust as he completes his spell. “Persona se corpum et sanguium commutandum est. Vestra sancta praesentia concrescet viscera. Janus! Sume noctem!” 2
Buffy looks around as a cold wind blows through Sunnydale.
The little old lady looks in her basket of treats, and discovers she is all out.
“Show time!” says Ethan.
Two of the children in Willow’s group in demon costumes transform into real mini-demons. One of them reaches out and starts to choke the little old lady while the other turns on the other children in the group. They run away. It turns on the demon attacking the old lady and attacks it. The lady retreats into her house as the two demons fight on her porch.
“Stop!” shouts Willow. “What’re you doing?” Then she staggers, struggling for breath.
Xander looks around at the chaos which has erupted around him. Many of the trick-or-treating kids in the streets have transformed into whatever their costumes had been, many of them monsters of one sort or another. The other kids are running and screaming.
Willow collapses on the porch, unable to breathe.
Xander looks around. The plastic gun in his hands transforms into a real M-16. He raises it to his shoulder and looks for a target.
Willow stands up, dressed in her sexy costume. She looks down and sees herself lying on the porch, covered in her shroud. “Oh my god! I’m a real ghost!”
She hears the sound of an automatic weapon firing, and runs toward it. It leads her to Xander. “Xander!” He spin around to face her. “It’s me, Willow!”
“I don’t know any Willow.” Xander keeps his rifle pointed at her.
“Xander, quit messing around. This is no time for jokes.”
“What the hell’s going on here?” asks Xander.
“You don’t know me?”
Xander lifts his gun away from her. “Lady, I suggest you find cover.” He tries to walk around her.
Willow steps in front of him and puts up her hands to stop him. Xander walks right through her. He spins and points his rifle at her again. “What are you?”
“Xander, listen to me,” says Willow. “I’m on your side, I swear! Something crazy is happening. I was dressed as a ghost for Halloween, and now I am a ghost. And you were supposed to be a soldier, and now I guess you’re a real soldier.”
“You expect me to believe that?” asks Xander. Before Willow can answer, a new monster appears across the street, growling at them. Xander moves his aim away from Willow and trains it on the monster. It backs away.
Willow jumps in front of Xander. “No! No guns! That’s still a little kid in there!” Xander tells her to step out of the way, but Willow doesn’t move. “No guns! That’s an order!” Xander lowers his rifle. “We just need to find…” Willow sees who she’s looking for down the street. “Buffy!”
Willow runs to Buffy, with Xander following. “Buffy! Are you okay?”
Buffy doesn’t say anything. She just looks at Willow in confusion.
There’s more growling from across the street. The monster Xander had frightened off earlier is back, and she has brought a friend.
Xander raises his rifle. “This could be a situation.”
“Buffy, what do we do?” asks Willow.
Buffy faints.
Xander chases off the monsters by firing over their heads while Willow tries to help Buffy. “Buffy, are you hurt?”
Buffy doesn’t recognise Willow, or know her own name.
“Who’s Buffy?” asks Xander.
“Oh, this is fun,” says Willow. She asks Buffy what year it is, and Buffy says it’s 1775 as she gets back to her feet. Buffy is very confused. She has no idea who these strangely dressed people in front of her are. Willow tells her to breathe, so she doesn’t faint again.
“How are we supposed to get through this without the Slayer?” Willow asks Xander.
“What’s a Slayer?” asks Xander. A demon appears behind Buffy and Willow, snarling at them. Xander hits it with the butt of his rifle, and knocks it out. He suggests that they get inside before something else finds them.
A car appears, driving down the street. Buffy is terrified by it, and hides behind Xander. She thinks it’s demon of some kind. Willow tells her it’s just a car. Buffy asks what it wants.
“Is this woman insane?” asks Xander.
“She’s never seen a car,” says Willow.
“She’s never seen a car?”
“She’s from the past.”
“And you’re a ghost.”
“Yes!” says Willow, “Now let’s get inside.”
“I just want you to know that I’m taking a lot on faith here,” says Xander. “Where do we go?”
Willow pauses to think about where the closest safe place might be.
Willow leads them all to Buffy’s house. They enter through the kitchen. Willow calls out for Mrs. Summers while Xander scans the room for threats. There is no one else there.
Something starts to bang on the front door. Xander goes to investigate. Willow and Buffy follow him. Willow tells Xander not to open the door. It could be a mini-demon.
Buffy spots a picture of herself sitting on the buffet in the dining room. She picks it up and looks at it. “This could be me.”
“It is you,” says Willow. “Buffy, can’t you remember at all?”
“No! I don’t understand any of this! This is some other girl!” Buffy puts the picture down. “I would never wear this, that low apparel, and I don’t like this place, and I don’t like you, and I just want to go home!”
“You are home!” Willow turns away from Buffy to go check on Xander. “She couldn’t’ve dressed up like Xena?” she mutters to herself.
Xander has been looking out through one of the windows in the door. He jumps back as a demon’s arm crashes through it and grabs at him. The arm withdraws and Xander aims his rifle through the broken window.
“Hey! What did we say!” Willow yells as Xander lets loose a burst of fire. Buffy covers her ears to protect them from the noise.
Xander turns back to Willow. “Big noise scare monster, remember?”
“Got it,” says Willow.
The sound of Cordelia screaming comes from outside. Xander looks through the door, and spots her. “Damn it!” He runs out.
Buffy runs up behind Willow. “Surely he will not desert us!”
“Whatever!” says Willow, and goes to the window to watch Xander.
Cordelia is running down the street, being chased by a large hairy sasquatch, and screaming for help. She is still dressed in her cat costume. Xander intercepts her, and leads her into the house.
“What’s going on?” Cordy asks Willow.
“Okay, your name is Cordelia, you’re not a cat, you’re in high school, and we’re your friends,” says Willow. “Well, sort of.”
“That’s nice, Willow. And you went mental when?”
“You know us?” asks Willow.
“Yeah,” says Cordy. “Lucky me. What’s with the name game?”
“A lot’s going on,” says Willow.
“No kidding. I was just attacked by Jo-Jo, the dog-faced boy. Look at my costume!” Cordelia shows Willow her torn sleave. “Do you really think that Party Town’s going to give me my deposit back? Not on the likely.”
Xander takes off his fatigue jacket and puts it around Cordy’s shoulders.
“Thanks,” says Cordy, and gives Xander a strange look.
Willow tells the others to stay put, while she goes for help. If something shows up, they can just try to fight it off.
“It’s not our place to fight,” says Buffy. “Surely some men will protect us.”
“What’s that riff?” asks Cordelia.
“It’s like amnesia, okay?” Willow tells her. “They don’t know who they are. Just sit tight.” She starts to go.
“Who died and made her the boss?” asks Cordy. She doesn’t see Willow walk through the wall behind her, but Buffy does. Buffy’s eyes go wide with shock.
Spike is wandering the streets of Sunnydale, admiring the chaos. “Well, this is just…neat!”
Xander builds a barricade over the front windows using the dining room furniture. He sends Cordelia to check out upstairs, and make sure it’s secure. Buffy doesn’t feel secure where they are. She thinks that they should try to find someplace safer. Xander isn’t moving. The ghost lady said to stay put. Buffy wonders if he’s feeble in some way, taking orders from a woman.
“Ma’am, in the Army we have a saying. Sit down and shut the…Whoa!” Xander has spotted a photograph lying on the floor. It’s a picture of him, Buffy and Willow all together. “She must be right. We must have some kind of amnesia.”
“I don’t know what that is, but I’m certain I don’t have it,” says Buffy. “I bathe quite often!” Xander asks her how she explains the picture, but Buffy isn’t going to. “I was brought up a proper lady. I wasn’t meant to understand things. I’m just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a Baron.”
“This ain’t no tea party, Princess. Sooner or later you’re going to have to fight!”
“Fight these low creatures?” says Buffy. “I’d sooner die.”
“Then you’ll die.”
Angel comes in from the kitchen. He is glad to have found Buffy and Xander, and that they are okay. “It’s total chaos out there!”
“Who are you?” ask Buffy and Xander together.
Giles is spending a quiet evening in the library updating his card catalogue. He hears the faint sound of screams and sirens coming from outside, and looks around in puzzlement.
Willow appears, walking through the wall in front of him. Giles tosses the cards in his hands into the air. “Geez!”
“Hi!” says Willow.
“So…how…ha!” says Giles.
“Okay, somebody want to fill me in?” asks Angel.
“Do you live here?” asks Xander.
“No, and you know that.” Angel steps toward Buffy, and she jumps away from him. He is just getting more confused. He also wants to know what’s up with her hair.
Cordelia comes back down from upstairs. “They don’t know who they are, everyone’s turned into a monster, it’s a whole big thing.” She gives Angel a smile. “How are you?”
Before Angel can answer the lights go out. Buffy grabs hold of Cordelia.
“Do you mind?” Cordy shrugs her off.
Xander tells Angel to take the Princess and check out the kitchen. He orders Catwoman to follow him, and heads toward the living room.
Buffy doesn’t like this plan. She doesn’t want to go with Angel. She wants to go with the man with the musket. Angel takes her arm and pulls her along with him. “Do you have a musket?”
Angel notices that the kitchen door is open. He remembers closing it behind him. He goes to shut it again, leaving Buffy standing by the door down to the basement. The basement door opens and a vampire reaches out toward Buffy. She screams and tries to shut the door on it.
Angel rushes back, grabs the vampire, and pulls it away from Buffy. He tosses it to the floor and wrestles with it. “Stake!” he calls out to Buffy. “Get me a stake!”
Buffy doesn’t understand what Angel wants but she starts searching for a weapon of some kind. She finds a knife on the counter, and starts to bring it to him.
“Hurry up!” Angel looks back toward Buffy. He is in full vamp face. Buffy screams and runs out of the house.
Willow stands looking at a book. She doesn’t really know what she is looking for, plus she can’t turn the page.
Giles decides it’s time for a quick review. “So everyone became whatever they were masquerading as?”
“Right,” says Willow. “Xander was a soldier, and Buffy was an 18th century girl.”
“And, your costume?”
“I’m a ghost!”
“Yes.” Giles looks her over. “Um…uh, the ghost of what, exactly?”
Willow starts trying to cover herself up with her arms again. “Well, this is nothing. You should see what Cordelia was wearing. A unitard with cat things, like ears and stuff.”
“Good heavens,” says Giles. “She became and actual feline?”
“No!” says Willow. “She was the same old Cordelia. Just in a cat costume.”
“She didn’t change.”
“No.” Willow starts to think. “Hold on…Party Town. She told us she got her outfit from Party Town.”
“And everyone who changed, they acquired their costumes where?”
“We all got ours at a new place. Ethan’s,” says Willow.
Buffy runs into an alleyway, looking for a place to hide.
Angel, Xander and Cordy walk quickly down the street, searching for Buffy. Angel isn’t even sure they’re heading the right direction. Cordy isn’t worried, Buffy can take care of herself.
“Buffy would be okay,” says Angel. “Whoever she is now, she’s helpless. C’mon!” He urges them to move faster.
Spike is watching from behind a tree. He has picked up a couple of the demon children as sidekicks. “Do you hear that, my friends? Somewhere out here is the tenderest meat you’ve ever tasted, and all we have to do is find her first!”
Buffy is still in the alley. She looks around trying to find a hiding place.
Buffy runs into Pirate Larry in the alley. He’s pleased that such a pretty thing has come to him.
Giles and Willow enter Ethan’s Costume Shop. While Giles looks around the main area Willow looks in the back room, and finds Ethan’s shrine. She calls for Giles to join her.
Giles recognises the statue. “Janus. Roman mythical god.”
“What does this mean?”
“Primarily the division of self,” says Giles. “Male and female, light and dark.”
“Chunky and creamy.” Ethan steps out of the shadows. “Oh, no, sorry, that’s peanut butter.”
“Willow, get out of here, now,” says Giles. Willow does not want to go. “Now!” says Giles again. Willow leaves. “Hello Ethan,” he says coldly.
“Hello Ripper!” says Ethan.
Buffy tries to escape from Pirate Larry. Larry grabs her and is about to kiss her when Xander tackles him. Buffy watches, too frightened to move while Xander and Larry fight.
Cordelia arrives in the alley, followed by Angel. Cordy asks if Buffy’s okay, but Buffy sees Angel and cringes away from him.
“What’s your deal?” asks Cordy. “Take a pill!”
“He—he’s a vampire!” stammers Buffy.
Cordy looks at Angel. “She’s got this thing where she thinks…forget it.” She turns back to Buffy. “It’s okay. Angel is a good vampire. He would never hurt you.”
“Really?” asks Buffy.
“Absolutely,” says Cordelia. “He’s our friend.”
Angel leaves them to go help Xander with Larry.
It isn’t necessary. Xander’s about done. He gives Larry one last punch and knocks him into a pile of garbage. “It’s strange,” he tells Angel, “but beating up that pirate gave me a weird sense of closure.”
Willow comes running into the alley. She tells them that they have to get inside. Spike and several of his new demon friends are right behind her.
Xander tells the ladies to get moving. Angel suggests they find a warehouse they can barricade themselves inside. Buffy isn’t moving nearly fast enough to satisfy Angel, so he picks her up and carries her.
Ethan is somewhat disappointed by the cold reception he is getting from Giles. He thought Giles would be glad to see his “old mate.”
“I’m just surprised I didn’t guess it was you,” says Giles. “This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne.”
“Yes, it does, doesn’t it?” says Ethan. “Don’t wish to blow my own trumpet, but it’s genius. The very embodiment of ‘be careful what you wish for.’”
“It’s sick, brutal, and it harms the innocent,” says Giles.
“Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocents and all things pure and good, Rupert. It’s quite a little act you’ve got going here, Old Man.”
“It’s no act. It’s who I am.”
Ethan doesn’t think so. Rupert Giles: Watcher is quite a bit different from the Ripper he used to know. “I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you’re capable of. But they don’t, do they? They have no idea where you come from.”
Giles doesn’t want to discuss it. He just wants Ethan to break the spell, and then leave Sunnydale and never come back. Ethan wants to know what’s in it for him.
“You get to live,” says Giles.
“Oh, Rupert, you’re scaring me.”
Giles punches Ethan in the stomach, making him double over. Then he straightens him up again with a knee to the face.
Angel finds an unlocked warehouse, and tells everyone to get inside. He carries Buffy in while Xander closes the door and tries to build a barricade over it. Angel leaves Buffy with Cordelia while he checks for any other entrances.
Spike and his demons start to pound on the door. Buffy grabs onto Cordelia in fear.
“Oh, faboo. More clinging!” says Cordy.
The monsters get the door open while Xander is still piling stuff in front of it. They quickly start to dismantle his barricade. “Go!” he yells to the others, as the barricade collapses and the monsters flood in.
Ethan lies in pain on the floor with Giles standing over him. “And you said the Ripper was long gone.”
Giles wipes his hands on his handkerchief. “Just tell me how to break the spell.”
“Say ‘pretty please.’” says Ethan. Giles kicks him in the ribs.
Xander, Angel, and Cordelia struggle against the grips of the monsters holding them while Spike advances toward Buffy. She backs away from him.
“Look at you,” says Spike. “Shaking. Terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb.” Buffy has backed herself up against a crate, she can’t go any farther as Spike advances toward her. He gives her a back handed slap across her face. “I love it!”
Spike pushes Buffy back onto the crate and grabs her by the hair. He twists her head around and exposes her neck.
Giles gives Ethan another kick in the ribs. “Now tell me how to stop the spell,” he says calmly.
Ethan has had enough. “Janus. Break the statue.”
Giles instantly goes to the statue of Janus, and lifts it high over his head.
Xander breaks free from the monsters holding him and reaches for his gun as Spike’s teeth approach Buffy’s neck.
Willow points at Spike. “Now that guy you can shoot!”
Xander raises the M-16 to his shoulder and takes aim.
Giles throws the statue of Janus down onto the floor and it shatters into thousands of pieces.
Xander pulls the trigger on his plastic gun. “What the…?”
“I’m scared! I want my mommy!” cries one of the children in his halloween monster costume.
Buffy’s wig comes off in Spike’s hand. He pulls back in surprise.
Buffy stands up. “Hi, honey! I’m home!” She give Spike a couple of quick punches and a kick to his head.
Spike picks up a piece of pipe and swings it at Buffy. She catches it and swings him around onto the crate he had pinned her to. He lets go of the pipe. Buffy uses it as a quarterstaff and hits him in the head with it, followed by a butt end into the stomach.
“You know what? It’s good to be me!” Buffy hits Spike in the head again.
Giles turns back to where he left Ethan. Ethan has vanished.
Spike gets to his feet, and backs away from Buffy. He’s had enough. He runs from the warehouse. Buffy lets him go.
Xander and Cordelia walk over to Buffy. “Hey, Buff. Welcome back,” says Buffy.
“Yeah! You, too,” says Buffy.
“You guys remember what happened?” asks Cordy.
“It was way creepy,” says Xander. “It’s like I was there, but I couldn’t get out.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Cordelia wiggles in her cat suit. “This outfit’s totally skin tight.”
Angel comes over to check on Buffy. Both of them instantly start to completely ignore Cordelia and Xander. Angel puts his arm around Buffy’s shoulder and leads her away.
“Hello?” says Cordelia. “It felt like I was talking, my lips were moving and—”
“Give it up, Cordy,” says Xander. “You’re never going to get between those two. Believe me, I know.”
Cordelia looks around. She thinks it is time to get the kids in the warehouse back to their parents.
“Yeah, everyone seems to—” Xander stops and looks around again. “Where’s Willow?”
Willow struggles out of her ghost’s shroud, and stands up on the porch. She starts to slip the shroud back on, and then changes her mind. She tosses it into the trash can beside the porch and walks away.
Oz stops his van at a stop sign. Willow walks across the street in front of him. He watches as she continues down the street. “Who is that girl?” he asks himself.
Buffy returns to her bedroom, back in twentieth century clothes. A black top, and loose fitting sweat pants. Angel is waiting for her on the bed. He’s puzzled by why she would think he would like her better dressed the way she’d been.
Buffy sits on her bed beside Angel. “I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.” Angel laughs at that. “What?”
“I hated the girls back then,” says Angel. “Especially the noble women.”
“You did?”
“They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone…exciting…interesting.”
“Really? Interesting how?”
“You know how,” says Angel
“Still, I had a really hard day,” says Buffy. “You should probably tell me.”
“You’re right,” says Angel. “I should.”
“Definitely.” Buffy kisses Angel. He kisses her back.
Giles returns to the costume shop. Its stock has been cleaned out, it’s deserted. He finds a note propped up on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.
“Be seeing you.”
| Who or What | Where | How |
|---|---|---|
| A vampire | Pop’s Pumpkin Patch | Staked by Buffy |