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| When She Was Bad | School Hard |
Buffy sits on Stephan Korshak’s headstone playing with a yo-yo. She’s getting impatient. Stephan is late, and she has a ton of trig homework waiting for her. She’s startled by Angel walking up behind her.
“Are you crazy?” asks Buffy. “You don’t just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or…yodel.”
Angel’s there because he has heard she was on a hunt. It isn’t so much of a hunt, as a wait for Buffy. “Lazy bones here doesn’t want to come out and play.”
“When you first wake up it’s a little disorienting,” says Angel. “He’ll show.”
“It’s weird to think of you going through that.”
“It’s weird to go through,” says Angel. “So, uh, you’re here alone?”
“Yeah! Why?”
“I just thought you’d have somebody with you,” says Angel. “Xander or someone.”
“Xander?”
“Or someone.”
“Nope.” Buffy hops down off the headstone. “Why, are you jealous?”
“Of Xander?” asks Angel. “Please. He’s just a kid.”
“Is it ’cause I danced with him?” asks Buffy.
“‘Danced with’ is a pretty loose term,” says Angel. “‘Mated with’ might be a little closer.”
Buffy thinks Angel is being a little unfair. It was just one little dance, which she only did to make Angel crazy. She thinks she was maybe a little too successful.
“I am not jealous,” says Angel.
“You’re not jealous?” asks Buffy, “What, vampires don’t get jealous?” She doesn’t notice Stephan digging his way out of his grave behind her.
“See?” asks Angel, “Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.”
“Well, I didn’t come here to fight,” says Buffy. Stephan attacks her from behind, and knocks her into Angel. They both fall to the ground. Buffy springs back to her feet and turns to face the vampire. “Oh, right, I did.”
Buffy and the vampire exchange some punches. She knocks it to the ground with a kick to its head, and turns back to Angel. “Where’s my stake? I know I had a stake!”
Angel hasn’t seen her stake. While Buffy searches the ground, Stephan gets back to his feet, picks up a shovel that’s lying nearby and attacks them again. Angel rushes to meet him and gets hit in the face with the shovel.
Stephan swings the shovel at Buffy. She jumps over his first swing, and catches the second. She hits the shovel handle, breaking it, and making herself a stake, which she jabs into Stephan’s chest. He falls back, and bursts into dust.
Buffy turns her attention back to Angel. “What do you mean he’s just a kid? Does that mean I’m just a kid, too?”
Angel has had enough of this discussion. He tells Buffy he made a mistake showing up at all, and turns and starts to walk away.
“Oh, no you don’t.” Buffy follows Angel. “You can’t just turn and walk away from me like that. It takes more than that to get rid of me.” She walks straight into an open grave, and lands in the empty coffin at the bottom of it.
Angel looks down into the grave at Buffy, and asks if she’s okay.
“I’m fine.” Buffy sits up in the coffin. “Gee, I wish people wouldn’t leave open graves laying around like this.”
“So. Another vampire has risen tonight.”
Buffy pokes her head above ground and looks out across the grass. She can see marks in the ground from something being dragged across it. “I don’t think so. Look at those tracks. Whoever was buried here didn’t rise from this grave.” She climbs out of the grave and picks up a girl’s shoe that was lying on the ground. “She was dragged from it.”
Xander and Buffy enter the library and find Giles talking to a chair, with his back to the door. “What I’m proposing is, um…and I don’t mean to appear indecorous, is, uh, a, a social engagement, um, a, a date, if you’re amenable. You idiot!”
“Boy,” says Buffy. “I guess we never realized how much you like that chair.”
Giles is startled by their entrance, and spins around. “I was just working on…” He gropes toward the table behind him and knocks a pile of books off it onto the floor.
“Your pickup lines?” asks Buffy.
Giles bends down to pick up the books. “Um, in a manner of speaking, yes.”
Buffy has a little advice for him. He should leave out the idiot part. “Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.”
“Actually kinda turns me on,” says Xander.
Buffy looks at Xander. “I fear you.” She has more advice for Giles. He should leave out words like ‘indecorous’ and ‘amenable.’ “Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um…”
“England?” asks Giles.
“Yeah,” says Buffy. “You just say, ‘Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.’”
“Oh, thank you, Cyrano,” says Giles.
“I’m not finished,” says Buffy. “Then you say, ‘How do you feel about Mexican?’”
“About Mexicans?” asks Giles.
“Mexican,” says Buffy. “Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay.” She sits in a chair at the library table.
Xander figures that the chair woman is probably Miss Calendar.
“What makes you think that?” asks Giles.
“Simple deduction.” Xander takes a seat along side Buffy. “Miss Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you’re a school librarian, so you don’t have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.”
“And she’s the only woman we’ve actually ever seen speak to you,” says Buffy. “Add it all up and it all spells ‘duh!’”
Giles has had enough of Buffy and Xander dissecting his love life. He asks Buffy how her hunt went last night. She tells him that Stephan Korshak is dust, and about the missing body from the grave.
“Grave robbing,” says Giles. “That’s new. Interesting.”
“I know you meant to say gross and disturbing,” says Buffy.
“Yes, yes, yes of course,” says Giles. “Terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it. Damn it.”
Giles asks if Buffy knows any more. She only knows what she learned from the headstone. Her name was Merideth Todd, she was about seventeen, and she died recently. She asks Xander if he knew her. Xander didn’t. Giles suggests they have Willow get on the computer to find out some more.
Willow is signing up for the annual science fair. A geek named Eric is hanging around taking pictures of all the girls, including Willow. She tries to sneak a peek at Chris Epps’ topic, since he always beats her.
“You know what the key is?” asks Chris. “If Dr. Clark doesn’t understand your experiment he gives you higher marks so it looks like he understands your experiment.” He takes a look at what Willow wrote for the title of her experiment. “The Effects of Sub-Violet Light Spectrum Deprivation on the Development of Fruit Flies? That should do the trick.”
Cordelia arrives to sign up too—participation is mandatory this year. She thinks that is highly unfair. “I don’t think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don’t want to.”
Willow takes a peek at Cordelia’s topic: The Tomato: Fruit or Vegetable.
“I wanted to do something I could finish in a weekend, alright?” says Cordy.
Eric snaps Cordy’s picture. She is not pleased. She doesn’t look good under florescent lighting, and she didn’t think yearbook nerds came out of hibernation until spring. Chris tells Eric to cut it out.
Buffy arrives. “Sorry to interrupt Willow, but it’s the Bat Signal.” Eric snaps her picture too.
Willow leaves with Buffy, and Cordelia follows after them. Eric watches the girls go, and then turns to Chris. “Cordelia’s so fine. Y’know, she’d be just perfect for us.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” says Chris. “She’s alive.”
Willow doesn’t expect her computer search to take long. “I’m probably the only girl in school who has the Coroner’s Office bookmarked as a favourite place.” She sits in front of the computer and starts to type.
Before Willow can get far, Cordelia comes in. “Sorry to interrupt your little undead playgroup, but I need to ask Willow if she’ll help me with my science fair project.”
“It’s a fruit,” says Willow.
“I would’ve asked Chris to help me,” says Cordelia, “but then that would’ve brought back too many memories of Daryl.”
Willow and the others ignore Cordelia. Willow finds the report on Merideth’s death in a car accident the week before.
“Of course I have learned to deal with my pain,” says Cordelia.
Buffy wants to know if the report says anything about neck wounds. Willow tells her Merideth’s neck was fine, except for being broken.
“Hello!” Cordelia does not like being ignored. “Can we deal with my pain, please?”
Giles is coming out of his office. He pats Cordelia on the shoulder. “There, there.”
Merideth wasn’t alone in the car. Two other girls, all of them from the Fonderin High Pep Squad were killed in the accident.
“You know what this means,” says Buffy.
“That Fonderin might actually beat Sunnydale in the cross-town body count competition this year?” asks Xander.
“She wasn’t killed by vampires,” says Buffy. “Somebody did dig up her corpse.”
“Eww!” says Cordelia. “Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word ‘corpse’ in it?”
They still have no idea what their body snatcher is doing. Giles has been researching and has come up with a couple of theories. It could be a flesh eating demon, feeding off the recently deceased, or a voodoo practitioner, raising a zombie, or zombies, as most voodoo priests require more than one.
Buffy suggests that they should see if the other girls from the accident are AWOL too. Find out if whatever they are looking for is working in volume.
“So we dig up some graves tonight,” says Xander.
“Oh, boy! a field trip!” says Willow. She asks Buffy if she’s going to invite Angel. Buffy doesn’t think so.
Xander suggests that they meet at nine, B.Y.O. shovel.
Willow will bring snacks. “Who else likes those little powdered doughnuts?” she asks. Xander’s in. Willow asks Cordelia.
“Darn,” says Cordy. “I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew we were going to be digging up dead people sooner. I would’ve canceled.”
“Alright,” says Xander. “But if you come across the army of zombies, could you page us before they eat your flesh?”
Cordelia has had enough abuse from Xander for today. She huffs, and leaves the library.
“Xander?” says Giles. “Zombies don’t eat the flesh of the living.”
“Yeah, I knew that,” says Xander. “But did you see the look on her face?”
Buffy and Willow sit by a headstone and watch Xander and Giles dig. Buffy tells Willow how Angel was acting all jealous of Xander last night.
“Because you did that sexy dance with him?” asks Willow.
“Am I ever going to live that down?” asks Buffy.
“Nope,” says Willow.
“Anyway,” says Buffy. “He was being totally irrational.”
“Love makes you do the wacky,” says Willow.
Xander stops digging and suggests that maybe the girls should take a turn, Giles seconds the idea.
“Sorry, but I’m an old fashioned gal,” says Buffy. “I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.” She asks Willow what Cordelia was talking about earlier, about Daryl Epps.
Willow tells Buffy that Daryl had been a big football star at Sunnydale High a couple of years ago. All the girls were crazy about him.
“And he broke Cordy’s heart?” asks Buffy. “Thus possibly proving its existence.”
“He died,” says Willow. It was a rock climbing accident. Ever since then Chris has withdrawn into his own private world. Their mother doesn’t even leave the house anymore.
Giles and Xander reach the coffin, and Buffy and Willow get up and move over to the side of the grave.
“By the way,” asks Willow. “Are we hoping to find a body, or no body?”
“Call me an optimist,” says Xander, “but I’m hoping to find a fortune in gold doubloons.”
Giles doesn’t have a preference one way or another. No body supports the army of zombies theory. A body supports the flesh eating demon theory. He and Xander start arguing about which of them will open the coffin. They both want the other to do it.
“Pathetic much?” asks Buffy. “Move over.” She climbs down into the grave and bends down to open the lid of the casket.
Cordelia and a couple of other girls leave the school after their cheerleading practice. Cordelia doesn’t think that it went well. “Guys, if we don’t get this down by tomorrow, no one’s going to be led by our cheers. Practice.” The two girls get into one of the cars in the parking lot, and Cordy continues on to her own while they drive away.
Cordelia hears something moving. She looks around but doesn’t see anything. She hurries to her car. She pulls her keys from her bag as she goes. She reaches the car and fumbles with her keys, trying to unlock the door. “Xander Harris! If this is some kind of joke…”
Cordelia drops her keys, and they bounce under her car. She leans down to pick them up, but they’ve bounced too far under for her to reach easily. She lies on the ground and tries to stretch under the car. She sees a pair of shoes walk up on the other side. Cordy forgets about her keys, and runs.
The man follows her. He follows her around the corner of a school building, and walks past a dumpster. Cordelia has vanished. He keeps going.
The dumpster lid slowly opens, and Cordy has a look around. She doesn’t see anyone. She opens the lid the rest of the way and starts to climb out. She finds herself face to face with Angel.
“Cordelia. This is the last place I expected you to hang out.”
Cordelia recovers from her shock, and asks what he’s doing there. Angel tells her he’s looking for Buffy.
“Buffy?” asks Cordy, “Well, she’s, uh—big shock—she’s at the graveyard.”
“She said she’d be home,” says Angel.
“Well, she lied. Isn’t she a rascal? Well, you’re in luck. It just so happens that my night is free.” Cordelia starts to climb out of the dumpster, but her skirt gets caught on something. She reaches down to free it, and her hand comes back up holding someone else’s hand. Cordelia screams and drops the hand. She looks down into the dumpster, and screams louder.
Buffy and her friends arrive back at the library. Both of the graves they dug up were empty. It looks like there are three recruits for the army of zombies.
“Is it an army if you just have three?” asks Willow.
“Zombie drill team then.” Buffy stops when she sees Angel and Cordelia are waiting for them. She is not pleased with the way Cordelia is clinging to Angel’s arm.
Angel isn’t pleased to see Buffy with Xander, and Xander isn’t pleased to see Angel at all. Angel is also not happy that Buffy had lied to him about what she was doing that night.
Giles suggests that since he is there, perhaps Angel can be of some help. He prompts Buffy to fill Angel in on what they were doing.
“We were investigating,” says Buffy. “Somebody’s been digging up the bodies of dead girls.”
“I know,” says Angel. “We found some of them.”
“You mean, like, two of the three?” asks Buffy.
“I mean, like, some of them,” says Angel. “Like, parts.”
“It was horrible,” says Cordelia. “Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me?”
“Karma!” coughs Xander.
Angel and Cordy’s news blows their army of zombies theory out of water, along all their other theories.
“I don’t get it,” says Buffy. “Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn’t make any sense. Especially from a time management standpoint.”
“What I saw didn’t add up to three whole girls,” says Angel. “I think they kept some parts.”
“Could this get yuckier?” asks Buffy.
“They probably kept the other parts to eat,” says Willow.
“Question answered,” says Buffy.
Giles wants to know why the parts were disposed of at the school, five miles from the cemetery. Buffy suggests that whoever did it might have some other business in the neighbourhood, such as classes.
“This was no hatchet job,” says Angel. “Whoever made those incisions really knew what they were doing.”
“Yes, really.” Giles doesn’t believe it could be a student. “What student here is going to be that well versed in physiology?”
“I can think of five or six guys in the science club,” says Willow. “And me.”
“So, Will, come clean,” says Xander. “Promise to never do it again, and we’ll call it a night.” No one appreciates his joke.
Buffy suggests that Willow pull the locker combinations for her list of suspects out of the school computer, so they can check them out.
Cordelia just wants to go home now. She needs to take a bath and burn her clothes. She doesn’t want to go alone though. She asks Angel to come with her. She still hasn’t let go of his arm.
Angel looks somewhat desperately at Buffy, and she doesn’t seem to be too happy about this, but neither of them says anything.
Cordelia interprets Angel’s silence as assent. “Great! I’ll drive.” She drags Angel out of the library.
“How about that?” asks Xander. “I always pegged him as a one woman vampire.”
Chris Epps comes out of his basement. The basement door is covered in “Keep Out” signs. His mother is sitting, smoking a cigarette1 and watching a videotape of one of Daryl’s football games. Chris tells her he’s going out, but she doesn’t seem to notice him at all.
Buffy and the others are opening lockers. Giles is not pleased. “You understand, in my capacity as a school official, this search is completely unauthorized, and I cannot condone it.”
“Fine, your butt’s covered,” says Buffy. “Want to grab a locker?” She hands him a sheet of locker combinations.
“Uh, yes, yes, of course,” says Giles.
Buffy moves to the next locker on her list. “Okay Eric,” she says to herself. “Let’s see what’s on your annoying little mind.”
Down the hall Willow has just come up empty on another locker. Nothing in it but back issues of Scientific American. She’s a little excited to find one she hasn’t read yet. She stops to leaf trough it.
“Guys!” says Xander from across the hall. Willow and Giles come to see what he’s found. “Your friend Chris Epps’ locker,” he tells Willow. Inside are several anatomy and mortician’s reference books, and the newspaper account of the three girls’ deaths.
“I think it’s fair to say Chris is involved,” says Giles.
“He’s into corpses alright,” says Xander. “But we still don’t know why.”
“Yes we do,” says Buffy. She has been looking through Eric’s locker. On the inside of his locker door is a collage. A picture of a girl made up from parts snipped out of pictures of several girls.
Chris works on his creation in his lab, while Eric sings My Girl. Eric lifts the sheet covering the body for a peek underneath and asks how his baby is coming.
“She’s not your baby,” says Chris.
“She’s not going to be anybody’s baby if we don’t finish her soon,” says Eric.
“I’m working on it,” says Chris.
“So am I, friend. So am I.” Eric hangs three recently developed photos of Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia up to dry.
Neither Chris nor Eric has shown up next day at school. Buffy meets with Willow and Xander at the top of the stairs leading down to the school courtyard. She wonders why they would do it. Why would anyone want to make a girl?
“You mean when there’s so many pre-made ones just laying around?” asks Xander. “The things we do for love.”
“Love has nothing to do with this,” says Buffy.
“Maybe not,” says Xander. “But I’ll tell you this: people don’t fall in love with what’s right in front of them. People want the dream. What they can’t have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.”
“And for Eric the unattainable would include everyone,” says Willow. “That’s alive.”
Buffy thinks that may explain Eric, but it doesn’t explain Chris. The group starts to head down the stairs. Chris seems like a human enough person to Buffy.
Willow doesn’t know, but Chris was pretty broken up when his brother died. He talks about death a lot. Buffy asks if making a girl from parts is even possible.
“If it is, then my science project is definitely coming in second this year,” says Willow
Xander spots Giles waiting near the bottom of the stairs. “And speaking of love.”
“We were talking about the re-animation of dead tissue,” says Willow.
“Do I deconstruct your segues?”
They walk up to Giles and Buffy asks if he’s seen any sign of their mad doctors. Giles is a little distracted, but he hasn’t seen them. He’s looking for someone else.
Buffy spots Miss Calendar approaching at the same time Giles does. “Okay, Giles, just remember, ‘I feel a thing, you feel a thing…’ but personalize it.”
“Personalize it?” asks Giles.
“She’s a technopagan, right? Ask her to bless your laptop. Have fun.” Buffy starts to go. Willow gives Giles a pat on the shoulder and follows Buffy.
“Best of luck,” says Xander as he leaves too.
Jenny walks by. “Good morning, Rupert.” She continues on her way.
“Uh, Miss Calendar!” Giles calls after her.
Jenny turns around, but keeps walking backwards. “Oh, no, please call me Jenny. Miss Calendar’s my father.”
Giles catches up with Jenny, and they continue together toward her class. Giles starts stammering through his prepared speech—not the Buffy version—but before he gets anywhere near the point the bell rings signalling the start of the next class, which Jenny has to get to. She enters her classroom.
“You idiot!” Giles tells himself.
Jenny sticks her head back out the classroom door. “Hey! Listen, if it’s important, why don’t you just tell me at the game?”
“Game?” asks Giles. He remembers that the school football team is playing tonight. He’s a little surprised that Jenny’s going. He assumed she spent her evenings downloading incantations and casting bones.
“On game night? Are you nuts? You’re going, too, right?”
“Oh, of course,” says Giles. “Always, always do.”
“So, we should just go together!” says Jenny. “Look, I could pick you up after school, and we’ll grab a bite to eat on the way if you like. How do you feel about Mexican?”
Giles nods, and Jenny tells him he can tell her whatever it was he wanted to say then. She goes back into her class.
“That went well. I think.” Giles turns with a bit of a skip in his step and heads back toward the library.
Willow consults some books in the science lab after classes, trying to figure out how Chris and Eric might make a girl. Xander is with her, making jokes with a model of a human head as a prop. Buffy arrives with the news that Chris and Eric were both officially absent from school today.
“Maybe they finished their project,” says Willow.
“God! What if it worked?” asks Buffy. “What, what if that poor girl is walking around?”
“Poor girls, technically,” says Xander.
“What could she be thinking?” asks Buffy.
“And what are they going to do with her?” asks Willow.
Giles arrives with the news that they don’t have to worry about that quite yet. He has been talking with a reporter friend of his, and the police found three heads in the dumpster. They don’t have the whole…package.
“Heads must be no good,” says Xander. “I found ’em attractive enough.” He gets a look from everyone. “Well, obviously I’m not as sick as Chris and Eric.”
Whatever Chris and Eric are up to they are still at least one step short of completing it.
“One step,” says Willow. She looks at the plastic head in Xander’s hands.
Eric is getting impatient. They are running out of time. If they don’t find a head soon, they could lose the entire body. Chris still thinks they have time.
Eric doesn’t want to wait for another accident to dump a head into their laps. “You know what we have to do,” he tells Chris. “Hell, it’s just one lousy girl.”
“I won’t do it!” says Chris. “I can’t kill anyone.” He turns to a figure lurking in the shadows. “Please! Understand. I can’t do that! Please don’t make me.”
“But you gave me your word. You promised me, little brother.” Chris’s brother Daryl steps out into the light. “That I wouldn’t be alone.” Daryl’s face is crisscrossed with scars and suture lines.
“The body is perfect,” says Eric, “And if we harvest a head tonight, she’ll be ready by sunrise.”
“When you brought me back you promised you’d take care of me.” Daryl takes hold of Chris’s shoulders. “I need this, Chris. I need someone.”
Chris doesn’t want to do it. He can’t kill someone. Eric doesn’t think of it that way. They are taking a life to make a life. It all balances out.
Chris still doesn’t like it. He thinks that maybe Daryl should go public, let people see him. Daryl doesn’t want anyone seeing him the way he is now.
“Chris, you’ve always been smarter than me.” Daryl kneels in front of him. “You were always the brains. You’re the only one who can help me now. Third and long, seconds to go. Where do you throw? Where do you throw?”
“Number five,” says Chris reluctantly. “Daryl’s going to drive.”
“Help me, brother,” says Daryl. Chris finally nods agreement. Daryl gets to his feet and hugs Chris’s head. “Thank you.”
Daryl asks Eric to show him the pictures. Eric lays out the photos of Buffy, Willow and Cordelia. Daryl picks one of them.
“Ah, A man of taste.” Eric picks up the photo and a pair of scissors. He starts to sing as he cuts out the photo. “My girl. Talkin’ ’bout my girl. My girl!” He cuts across the picture of Cordelia’s neck.
Willow has been checking obituaries looking for a likely candidate for a head. There’s nothing. She has realized that the heads Chris and Eric had were rejected because the embalming had destroyed their brains. Chris and Eric are going to need something fresh.
“How fresh?” asks Buffy.
“As fresh as possible,” says Willow. “Buffy, you don’t think that they would…”
“I think anybody who cuts dead girls into little pieces does not get the benefit of any doubt,” says Buffy. “I want to end this thing now.”
“I second that,” says Giles.
Buffy tells Willow and Xander to go check out Eric’s place. She and Giles will check on Chris. Giles remembers that he has a date, so Buffy tells him that they can handle it without him.
Giles still wants to stay involved, so Buffy suggests that they all report back to him at the game.
Willow stops Buffy on the way out of the library. “Don’t be too hard on Chris. I mean, he’s not a vampire.”
“No,” says Buffy, “He’s just a ghoul.”
Buffy knocks on the door to Chris’s house, and his mother answers it. Buffy asks if Chris is there.
Mrs. Epps doesn’t say anything. She turns away from the door and goes back to watching her tapes of Daryl’s football games. She leaves the door open, so Buffy follows her inside. She asks again if Chris is home. His mother starts talking about the football game on the TV.
“Yeah, that was a great one,” says Buffy, “But is Chris here?”
Mrs. Epps doesn’t know. She doesn’t even know if this was a school day.
Buffy leaves Mrs. Epps watching the game and sees the door down to the basement, with all the “Keep Out” signs on it. She goes to investigate.
Buffy finds Eric’s collection of photographs, and a rolled up anatomical drawing of a body, with Cordelia’s head pasted on it. She doesn’t notice Daryl creeping up behind her.
Both Buffy and Daryl hear the noise of the basement door opening. Daryl ducks back into the shadows, and Buffy climbs up to, and out the open basement window.
Cordelia and a couple of other cheerleaders are finishing up dressing in their outfits in the locker room. The other girls leave while Cordy puts the finishing touches on her makeup.
Chris appears in the mirror behind her. Cordelia is startled, turns, and asks why he’s there. He can’t look at her. Eric comes up behind Cordy and tosses a sack over her head.
Buffy meets Joy and Lisa—the two cheerleaders who just left Cordy—on the stairs and asks them where Cordelia is.
“Cordelia has a game to think about,” says Joy. “She doesn’t need losers like you.” She tries to brush past Buffy.
Buffy puts out an arm, blocking Joy. “I’m sorry, where did you say?”
Buffy arrives in the locker room while Eric is still tying up Cordelia. She gives him a kick in the head.
Eric runs away, while Buffy checks on Cordelia. Buffy helps Cordy to her feet as Cordy tells her what happened. She doesn’t have much time to explain, she hears the school band starting up. It’s time for the cheerleader pyramid at mid field. She grabs her pompoms.
“Are you sure you’re okay to go out there?” asks Buffy.
“Yeah, you don’t understand, I have to go. I’m the apex.” Cordelia runs out of the locker room, leaving Buffy behind.
Buffy hears a noise, and realizes she isn’t alone. She looks for the source of the sound.
“Chris?” Buffy walks slowly past the rows of lockers. “I know what you’re trying to do. You and Eric. I know about the bodies from the cemetery. But you haven’t hurt anyone yet.”
Chris steps out in front of Buffy.
“Look, I know what it’s like to lose someone that you’re close to,” says Buffy. “But that’s no excuse. What you’re doing is wrong.”
“I have to do this for him,” says Chris. “He needs someone.”
“Who, Eric?” asks Buffy. “He needs industrial strength therapy.”
“He always looked out for me,” says Chris. “Stood up for me. He’s all alone. Everybody loved him. And now he’s all alone.”
“Who are you talking…?” Buffy realizes who Chris is talking about. “Oh my god!”
Daryl is going berserk in the basement. “You promised me!” he shouts as he knocks things off shelves. “You promised! I wouldn’t have to be alone!”
“It’s not too late,” says Eric.
Daryl grabs Eric by the collar and picks him up.
“Nothing’s changed!” says Eric. “We can still do this! You and me. Your brother’s not the only one who can create life. What do you say?”
Daryl sets Eric back down on the floor, and lets go of him.
“Let’s go scare you up a date,” says Eric.
Buffy and Chris return to Chris’s house to look for Daryl. He isn’t there. They find the shambles he left in the basement. Buffy asks Chris where else he could be.
Chris is confused. “But he would never go out. Unless…”
“He’s going to pick up where you left off,” says Buffy.
Cordelia and the rest of the cheerleaders are leading cheers at the football game. Giles arrives with Jenny. He is carrying drinks, popcorn and pennants for both of them while she talks about football. “I don’t know what it is about football that does it for me. I mean, it lacks the, the grace of basketball, the poetry of baseball. At its best it’s unadorned aggression. It’s such a rugged contest.”
“Rugged,” laughs Giles as they climb up to some vacant seats in the stands. “American football.”
Jenny wants to know what Giles finds so funny.
Giles sits in the stands. “I just think it’s rather odd, that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.”
“Is this your normal strategy for a first date?” asks Jenny. “Dissing my country’s national pastime?”
“Did you just say ‘date?’” asks Giles.
“You noticed that, huh?”
Their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Willow and Xander. They didn’t find anything at Eric’s.
“Nothing but a bunch of computer equipment and a pornography collection so prodigious it even scared me,” says Xander.
Willow asks Giles if he’s heard from Buffy.
Giles tells her no, and suggests that they go circulate nearer the field to look for her. Xander and Willow ignore him, and take the two seats directly in front of him and Miss Calendar.
Xander reaches back and takes one of Giles’ popcorn bags away from him. “So, what’s the score?”
Daryl is lurking under the stands, looking out through the seats at the game, watching other players receive the adulation that used to be his. He sees Cordelia leave the field during a break between cheers to get herself a drink. He sneaks up behind her and grabs her. Her scream is drowned out by the cheers of the crowd as Sunnydale’s team scores.
Buffy and Chris arrive at the game. Buffy looks for Cordelia among the cheerleaders, but she doesn’t see her.
Eric and Daryl strap Cordy to a gurney in their lab. She’s blindfolded. She begs them to take it off. She promises not to scream.
Daryl lifts the sheet covering the body of the girl they’re making him. “She’s beautiful!”
Eric waves Daryl away from the body. “No! It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.”
Cordy continues to beg, still promising not to scream. Daryl takes off the blindfold. Cordelia takes one look at him and starts to scream.
“Scream all you want,” says Eric. “We’re in an abandoned building.”
“Help!” screams Cordelia.
Eric picks up a metal tray and holds it threateningly over her head. “Okay, that’s enough!”
Cordy stops screaming.
Daryl leans over Cordelia. “You were always good to me. Always noticed me. But I ignored you. I’m sorry. I’m glad I have a second chance to tell you that.”
Cordelia recognises him. “Daryl?”
“I was thoughtless,” says Daryl “I see that now. But I’ve changed. I’ve learned to appreciate how much it meant that you wanted to be with me.”
Eric announces he’s ready.
“Ready?” asks Cordelia “Ready for what?”
“You’re going to feel a little pinch, maybe some discomfort around the neck area,” says Eric. “But don’t worry. When you wake up, you’ll have the body of a seventeen-year-old. In fact, you’ll have the body of several.” He lifts the sheet to show Cordelia the body that he’s going to be attaching her head to.
Cordelia screams.
Buffy finds Cordelia’s pompoms by the drink cooler. She asks Chris where they would have taken her. Chris tells her that they would have taken her to the rest of the body, but he’s still reluctant to say where that is.
“Look, he’ll kill Cordelia!” says Buffy. “You can’t just give and take lives like that. It’s not your job.”
Chris tells Buffy that they were set up in the old science lab. Buffy thanks him and sends him to find Willow and Xander and tell them what’s going on.
Cordelia pleads with Daryl for him to let her go while Eric tops up the gas tank on the generator that’s providing them with electricity. She tells Daryl that they don’t have to do this, she’ll still be with him.
Daryl knows Cordelia a little better than that. “Is that right?” He leans over her so she can get a good look at his face. “You see anything you like?” He turns to the sheet covering the body and starts talking to it. “And when you’re finished you won’t go out. You won’t run away. But we can hide together.”
Eric has finished with the generator, and takes a knife and holds it over the flame of a bunson burner. After a few seconds he turns and approaches Cordelia with it. “Sterile enough for government work.”
Buffy kicks the door open as Eric is about to make his first incision. Eric turns and sees her. He throws the knife at her. Buffy catches it as Eric runs and hides.
Buffy tells Daryl that Chris sent her to stop him, but Daryl doesn’t believe her.
Cordelia doesn’t much care. “Buffy, they’re crazy!”
Buffy promises Cordy that she will get her out, but Daryl isn’t finished with her yet. He grabs a knife off the nearby instrument tray and goes for Cordy’s throat.
Buffy runs forward, reaches across the gurney, and grabs Daryl’s arm. She knocks the knife out of his hand, and punches him.
Buffy runs around the gurney. Daryl’s ready for her now. He punches Buffy in the face, grabs her by the back of the neck, and slams her face into the instrument tray. He throws her over Cordelia’s gurney. Buffy falls to the floor.
Daryl shoves Cordelia’s gurney out of his way and goes after Buffy. The gurney hits the gasoline can, and knocks it over, spilling gas on the floor.
Eric decides it’s time for him to leave. Daryl doesn’t like that idea. He grabs Eric as he tries to run by him and throws him into some barrels. Eric doesn’t get up.
Buffy gets back to her feet and confronts Daryl. She kicks him in the leg, knocking him to the floor. She gives him another kick in the ribs, and in the head as he tries to get back up.
Daryl staggers back to his feet, and Buffy kicks him back against the table with the bunson burner. The burner lands in the pool of gasoline, and ignites it.
Xander comes into the lab. Buffy yells at him to get Cordelia out. Xander rushes to Cordelia as the flames spread around her, and goes to work on the straps binding her to the gurney.
Buffy kicks Daryl several more times, but her kicks seem to have little effect on him. He manages to grab her in a bear hug, and lifts her off the floor. Xander is still trying to free Cordelia, but the straps are too tight.
Willow and Giles run in and see Eric lying unconscious on the floor. They drag him out, as Xander gives up on trying to free Cordelia. The flames are getting too close. He grabs the gurney and swings it around. He gives it a push, and jumps on top of Cordelia, and they ride the gurney through the flames. He leaps off as Miss Calendar arrives, and together they push Cordelia out of the lab.
Buffy breaks free from Daryl, and tries a couple more kicks. Daryl grabs her, picks her up and slams her down on the floor. He picks up a desk and raises it over his head to slam down on top of her.
“Daryl! Don’t!” yells Chris.
Daryl stops. He looks back at his brother, and down at Buffy. He looks to where the body Chris and Eric were making is being engulfed in flames. He tosses aside the desk and runs into the fire. “She’s mine!”
“Daryl, no!” Chris tries to follow him, but Buffy gets to her feet in time to grab him. She holds him back.
“We’ll be together always.” Daryl climbs on top of the body. “Mine!” The rising flames block of Chris’s view of them.
Various police, ambulance and fire vehicles surround the aftermath of the fire. Buffy sits on the hood of a police car talking with Chris. He tells her that Daryl had told him that he shouldn’t have brought him back, but Chris was just trying to look out for his big brother, the way Daryl had always looked out for him.
Angel arrives. He saw the fire and figured that Buffy would be nearby. He asks if everyone’s okay.
Giles is with Jenny. He hands her a cup of coffee. “Sorry about all this.”
“It’s okay,” says Jenny. “Although a good rule of thumb for a first date is don’t do anything so exciting that it’ll be hard to top on the second date.”
“Believe it or not, since I’ve moved here to live on top of the Hellmouth, the events of this evening actually qualify as a slow night,” says Giles. “Did you just say ‘second date?’”
Jenny smiles over her coffee. “You noticed that, huh?”
Xander is with Willow. He’s noticed that everyone seems to be paired off. “Vampires get dates, hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music’s stopped and we’re the only ones who don’t have a chair?”
“All the time,” says Willow.
A soot stained Cordelia comes over to them. “Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything that I could ever do to—”
“Do you mind?” asks Xander. “We’re talking here.”
Cordelia snorts out a breath, rolls her eyes, and leaves.
“So where were we?” Xander asks Willow.
“Wondering why we never get dates,” says Willow.
“Yeah, so why do you think that is?”
Buffy and Angel walk through the cemetery, talking about what happened. “God, the whole thing was so creepy,” says Buffy. “At the same time, I mean, he did do it all for his brother.”
“Sounds like he took it a little over the edge,” says Angel.
“Love makes you do the wacky,” says Buffy.
“What?” asks Angel.
“Crazy stuff,” says Buffy.
“Oh, crazy. Like a two hundred and forty-one year old being jealous of a high school junior?” Angel has been thinking about it, and Buffy’s friendship with Xander does bother him a little.
“I don’t love Xander.”
“Yeah, but he’s in your life,” says Angel. “He gets to be there when I can’t. Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight.”
“I don’t look that good in direct light,” says Buffy.
It’s going to be dawn soon. They both should be getting home. Buffy offers to walk Angel to his. They continue through the cemetery hand in hand, past Daryl Epps’ headstone.
| Who or What | Where | How |
|---|---|---|
| The vampire Stephan Korshak | The cemetery | Staked with a shovel by Buffy |
| Daryl Epps | The old school science lab | Burned in the fire |